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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I\'m sorry teacher but please correct as soon as posible

작성자: 김*환
2022-09-06 1896

회원님의 영작문

Adults say adolescents are addicted to smartphone.
I think I am one of those people.
I am obsessed with checking my phone waiting for a notification to arrive, even if it doesn't come.
I play mobile games, upload pictures on Instagram, text others on social media.
Mobile phone addiction has been disrupting my daily life and has a negative impact on learning, and relationship.
I should solve this problem for my healthy life.
Here are some ways I can build better digital habits.
First, I will turn off as many push notifications as possible.
Then I won’t be disturbed by a message that latest Instagram photo or Twitter post has been uploaded.
Second, I will put my phone as far away from my bed as possible before going to bed.
Then I can take away the thought that I'm going to watch social media for a little bit before bed.
It’s not easy to build good digital habits, but I’ll do my best until being free from smartphone.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Paul!  

Here's the correction. 

Teacher Andrea 


Adults say adolescents are addicted to smartphone.
>> Correct 

I think I am one of those people.
>> I think I am one of them. 

I am obsessed with checking my phone waiting for a notification to arrive, even if it doesn't come.
>> I am obsessed checking my phone, waiting for a notification to arrive even if it doesn't' come. 

I play mobile games, upload pictures on Instagram, text others on social media.
>> I play mobile games, upload pictures on Instagram, and send messages on social media. 

Mobile phone addiction has been disrupting my daily life and has a negative impact on learning, and relationship.
>> Mobile phone addiction has been disrupting my daily life and has a negative impact on learning and relationship.

I should solve this problem for my healthy life.
>> I should solve this problem for me to have a healthy lifestyle. 

Here are some ways I can build better digital habits.
>> Correct 

First, I will turn off as many push notifications as possible.
>> Correct 

Then I won’t be disturbed by a message that latest Instagram photo or Twitter post has been uploaded.
>> Then I won’t be disturbed by a message about the latest Instagram photo or Twitter post that has been uploaded.

Second, I will put my phone as far away from my bed as possible before going to bed.
>> Second, I will put my phone as far as possible before going to bed. 

Then I can take away the thought that I'm going to watch social media for a little bit before bed.
>> Then I can take away the thought of checking social media for a little bit before bed time.

It’s not easy to build good digital habits, but I’ll do my best until being free from smartphone. 
>> Correct 
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04