¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*¿ì
2022-09-07 2969

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I came up with some of the mistakes I made before because it can improve my workability and recover my mental shame.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Kane!

I hope you know that it is okay to make mistakes. It's what you do after you have made the mistakes that makes all the difference.
Please, do not forget to be kind to yourself and celebrate small wins!

Thank you, and have a great Chuseok!

~ Teacher Gela

I came up with some of the mistakes I made before because it can improve my workability and recover my mental shame.
>> CORRECT
OR >> I reflect on some of the mistakes I made before, so I can do better and recover from mental shame.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121072 To minimize the use of plastic Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 2
121071 Do you think school trips are popular? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1425
121070 the pros and cons of both husband and wife working ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1124
121069 What was your favorite concert? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1214
121068 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1022
121067 What do you think about the health care system in your country?... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1416
121066 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 0
121065 What kinds of jobs do you think robots can do already? How would... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1170
121064 A Thank you letter -5Dhomeroom teacher ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 916
121063 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1030
121062 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1
121061 Playing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1
121060 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1006
121059 What concerns do you have about food? What are your ¡®rules of... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 2778
121058 Would you recommend that a friend take a cruise? Why or why not? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 1028
121057 What is your favorite music? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 5
121056 How important are you to your family? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 849
121055 How do you think can racism be stopped? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 871
121054 School uniform does not stop bullying and may increase violent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-26 781
121053 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-25 712

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04