¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/7 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-08 2603

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Dr. Stella!

As I read your homework entry for today, I felt inspired and awed by the amount of work and thought you made to who you are today and what you have become. I admire your career path and I wish if I could live another lifetime, I wanted to be a doctor just like you! Thank you for sharing to me your wonderful story of success.

Well, your composition contains a very well organized time line. In addition, your transition words are so appropriate thus, making the flow of your story clear and easy to comprehend. Finally, I commend your attempt of creating very long sentences and correct ones. Please see my suggestions to even make them better.

You have been very diligent and highly motivated on your essays this week, outstanding job, carry on!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~ 

I could express my career of last 5 year as "I became a doctor."
>> I could express my career for the last 5 years as "I became a doctor."

I passed Koera Medical License Exam about 5 years old and after I finished my studies at Medical school, I became a doctor.
>> I passed the Korean Medical License Exam about 5 years ago and after I finished my studies at the medical school, I became a doctor.

I had entered internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.
>> I had entered an internship course for 1 year and searched for which I was interested in.

I was very impressed by surgery, and I dreamed of becoming a surgeon.
>> Correct!

So, I applied to ENT resident and luckily I trained to become a specialist as ENT doctor for 4 years.
>> So, I applied as an ENT resident and luckily, I trained to become a specialist as an ENT doctor for 4 years.

On January 2022, I was qualified as a specialist in ENT.
>> Correct!

I transferred to new workplace and I learned various surgery about head and neck.
>> I transferred to a new workplace and I learned various surgeries for the head and the neck.

When I recall recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.
>> When I recall the recent 5 years, I have concentrated on becoming a skillful doctor.

Although internship and resident course were so hard and sometime made me burn out, they gave me meaningful result.
>> Although the internship and residency courses were so hard and sometimes made me burned out, they gave me meaningful results.

As a basis of those experiences I am planning to invest my time to another fields like exercise and language.
>> As a basis of those experiences, I am planning to invest my time on other fields like exercise and language.

It's the best way to act healthy and wonderful as a doctor for a long time.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123904 What are the bad sides of being overweight? What are the things... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2208
123903 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2727
123902 Homework (11/30) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 6
123901 Airplanes are very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1798
123900 HOMEWORK: How much free time do you spend on the net? Would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123899 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123898 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123897 Too much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123896 Tipping culture in Korea ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2328
123895 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123894 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1972
123893 Do you think South Korea should also start developing nuclear... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2158
123892 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123891 How do you minimize your spending on food? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1620
123890 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1621
123889 Do you agree that Apple and Google should both be penalized due... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2159
123888 29.11.Nov ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 9
123887 What is the best way to make new friends? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 0
123886 What was the most severe disease you ever had? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 1
123885 If you could have a conversation with any famous living person,... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 2231

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04