¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What puts you in bad mood? What puts you in a good mood? How do you manage your mood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-14 1799

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep. I need to only long pillow. :) Because I hug that while I'm sleeping. Also, there is a curtain where I need. It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for taking the time to answer your homework today, Elic. I liked your composition today, you've expressed yourself well using complete sentences with complete thoughts. Please review my corrections carefully, and then try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)


I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep.
>> I don't need to have anything else to have a good mood before going to bed.
I need to only long pillow.
>> I only need a long pillow.
Because I hug that while I'm sleeping.
>> Correct. OR Because I snuggle it while I'm sleeping.
Also, there is a curtain where I need.
>> I also need curtains.
It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.
>> It can block the sunshine and helps me have a deep sleep.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121908 support ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1595
121907 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 0
121906 Explain or describe the value of personal time in your life ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 2333
121905 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1
121904 Why do people take photos? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 4
121903 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1419
121902 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1457
121901 Do you believe in love at first sight? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 0
121900 Where do you want to travel to before you die? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-26 1280
121899 Which is more pleasant, forgiving or taking revenge? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2793
121898 Tell me something about yourself ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1774
121897 8/25 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 891
121896 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1138
121895 The happiest time in my life. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1400
121894 Music ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1201
121893 What\'s the most miserable you\'ve been? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1542
121892 Do most people in your country prefer traditional medicine,... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1629
121891 Hi ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 5
121890 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1254
121889 Who is the kindest person you know? What are some of his/her... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1524

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04