¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What puts you in bad mood? What puts you in a good mood? How do you manage your mood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-14 1911

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep. I need to only long pillow. :) Because I hug that while I'm sleeping. Also, there is a curtain where I need. It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for taking the time to answer your homework today, Elic. I liked your composition today, you've expressed yourself well using complete sentences with complete thoughts. Please review my corrections carefully, and then try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)


I don't need to have nothing else to make good mood during sleep.
>> I don't need to have anything else to have a good mood before going to bed.
I need to only long pillow.
>> I only need a long pillow.
Because I hug that while I'm sleeping.
>> Correct. OR Because I snuggle it while I'm sleeping.
Also, there is a curtain where I need.
>> I also need curtains.
It can block the sunshine, I can take a deep sleep.
>> It can block the sunshine and helps me have a deep sleep.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120873 gay rights Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120872 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 0
120871 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 708
120870 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 753
120869 Reality show ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120868 I can become a vegetarian not a vegan ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 768
120867 family ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 701
120866 How do you feel the evening before the weekend starts? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 2
120865 transportation ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 871
120864 What do you think of space tourism? (Traveling to outer space) ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1
120863 Which do you like better, to be the interviewer or the person... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 4
120862 Do you think that religion is important? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-19 1066
120861 What was your best trip? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1009
120860 7/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 908
120859 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 985
120858 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1
120857 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1151
120856 Have there been any famous trials in your/in another country... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1228
120855 The chores i dislike ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1126
120854 What do friends mean to you? What makes a friend a best friend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-18 1257

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04