¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Use the following words in simple sentences

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-15 2329

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I got a sadness, I could treat my mood to listen to music like pop, lock and rap songs. Also, I have an aggressive thing to make me calm, if I have trouble things. Thanks for your teaching always kindly.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Elic! You're welcome, it's my pleasure to teach you every day. You are such an amazing student and it shows by how well you perform in class. Your progress motivates me to keep teaching and helping a lot of students. :) Please continue what you are doing, never give up on your dreams. Here are some of my corrections, please review them well. Have a nice day! :)


hen I got a sadness, I could treat my mood to listen to music like pop, lock and rap songs.
>> When I feel sadness, I treat myself by listening to pop & lock and rap music.
Also, I have an aggressive thing to make me calm, if I have trouble things.
>> Also, I can be aggressive sometimes when I get into trouble, I try my best to keep calm.
Thanks for your teaching always kindly.
>> Thanks for always teaching me kindly.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121338 Previous class review (Han liver park, eggplant, benefits) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121337 Cancer ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121336 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121335 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121334 What ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121333 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121332 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1367
121331 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1221
121330 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2308
121329 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1245
121328 2. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 996
121327 stupid plan ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1273
121326 How older people viewed in yout country? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121325 How are you similar to your parents? How are you different? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121324 How do you overcome fear? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1196
121323 The best way to enjoy reading books. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121322 want type man ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121321 08.03.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121320 what is my hobby?? ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 4
121319 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04