¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK: If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? Explain your opinion in five sentenc

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-20 3082

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~T. Annie
HOMEWORK:

There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something. If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly. what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means. for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want. and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions. after my calculations, I'll do it. It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation. Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them. Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow. It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jason, here's my corrections for this homework. I am impressed with how you make your sentences with complete thought. However, please do consider correct punctuation and capitalization. Remember, commas (,) are used for separating thoughts and ideas, while periods (.) are used to end a sentence and remember that every after a period (.) you should start the next sentence with a capital letter. Please review my corrections and also, remember that it's okay to use simple words rather than difficult sounding ones. Keeping sentences simple makes it a lot easier for you to express yourself. You did great today! Thank you very much, Jason! :)

- Teacher Raven 



There are many obstacles in life, It can be a person, also It can be something.
>> There are many obstacles in life, it can be a thing or even a person.
If some situations are matter, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
>> If some situations, I'll just admit it and take all my burdens gladly.
what if something is harrassing me, then I'll overcome it by all means.
>> If something is annoying me, I'll overcome it by all means.
for instance, I ardently eager to eat sushi, although all stores that deal with fishes are closed, even if I end up doing fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
>> For instance, I was eager to eat sushi, however, the stores which sell fish are closed. If I went fishing myself, I'll achieve what I want.
and Lastly, If someone is annoying me, then I'll seize the all situations and relationships, and I'll presume the results of my actions.
>> Lastly, if someone is annoying me, I'll think about the situation and our relationship and I'll consider the results what I'll be doing.
after my calculations, I'll do it.
>> After carefully thinking about it, I'll consider doing it.
It may be a warning, or can be a conciliation.
>> I can give them a warning or a conciliation between us.
Judging from my experiences, People who needs explain are not likely to change even if I explain it to them.
>> From my experiences, people who ask for explanations are not likely to change even if I did so.
Here's the saying, We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow.
>> There's a saying that goes like, "We can't change yesterday and other people, but we can change our tomorrow."
It's depending on the situations, but I'll judge thinking of these things.
>> It depends upon the situation, but I'll consider these things when I make my decisions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125125 Do you express how you feel or do you keep it in? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1293
125124 The most interesting place Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 2
125123 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 2
125122 What are the benefits of learning English? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 2211
125121 Would you send a dish back if it did not taste good or if you... Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1200
125120 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 0
125119 1/25 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1301
125118 1/20 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1404
125117 1/18 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1923
125116 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 2
125115 26.Jan.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1
125114 What would you do if you became the richest person on Earth? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1588
125113 1. Do you prefer watching movies at the cinema or on TV? 2. What... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1
125112 talk about the song you last sang. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1322
125111 1/26 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-27 1290
125110 What do people from other countries usually think of when they... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 1276
125109 2023-1/26 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 1426
125108 Do you know how to overcome fear? What is the best way? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 1613
125107 What do you fear missing out on the most? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 4
125106 Gathering ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-26 1514

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04