¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-09-21 2604

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening, T donna.
Another peaceful day~
After a long period, I had a morning off.
This morning, my wife and I rode a bike in the Central park.
It was a great time for us.
Actually, my wife were not good at riding a bicycle.
But, she was getting better today for my advice.
It's a secret between you and me that she fell down more than 5 times. LOL
Today's homework is about my best friends.
One of my best friends is Doctor MJ whom you know.
He was born in 1987 and he has two sisters.
He got married and he has one son.
Sadly, his mother passed away around three years ago.
His height is 180 cm, he is handsome and very smart.
Both of us really like delicious foods.
As you know, I like alcohols, while he doesn't like that.
Thus, everytime we drink, I was always drunken, and then he took me my home.
While I like many people, he doesn't have many friends.
However, he really does good to his people.
He try to do best to me, and I know it.
We know each other very well.
Catch you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Goo day, Dr. Kim!

It is refreshing to know that you and your wife had some sweet moments together riding the bicycle. You must have the perfect weather to do this activity yesterday. Anyway, I hope that you can have more activities together to enrich your marriage and bond you closer and stronger than ever. Maybe it is the small things that matter in marriage over the years. Now, she is biking like a pro, thanks to you!

Doctor MJ has been very kind to you and vice versa. Not only that you are business partners, you are also very close friends. It is true when they say that lifetime friendship is better build when you have a business than having friendship and not the other way around. I hope that you will be friends and partners in business for life.

For your composition, a great portion contains correct sentences. Some of the suggestions focus on correct choice of words 'syntax' or the right determiner 'a, the'. In addition, always be keen on your subject-verb agreement. Overall, your message was easily understood since the organization was excellent.

Keep writing very well!

Thanks and see you soon.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, T donna.
>> Correct!
Or: Good evening, T. Donna.

Another peaceful day~
>> Correct!
Or: It was another peaceful day.

After a long period, I had a morning off.
>> Correct!
Or:  I had some time off after a long period of time.

This morning, my wife and I rode a bike in the Central park.
>> Correct!
Or: This morning, my wife and I rode a bike at Central Park.

It was a great time for us.
>> Correct!

Actually, my wife were not good at riding a bicycle.
>> Actually, my wife is not good at riding the bicycle.

But, she was getting better today for my advice.
>> But, she got better today due to my advice.

It's a secret between you and me that she fell down more than 5 times. LOL
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about my best friends.
>> Correct!

One of my best friends is Doctor MJ whom you know.
>> Correct!

He was born in 1987 and he has two sisters.
>> Correct!

He got married and he has one son.
>> Correct!

Sadly, his mother passed away around three years ago.
>> Correct!

His height is 180 cm, he is handsome and very smart.
>> Correct!

Both of us really like delicious foods.
>> Correct!
Or: food

As you know, I like alcohols, while he doesn't like that.
>> Correct!
Or: alcohol

Thus, everytime we drink, I was always drunken, and then he took me my home.
>> Thus, every time we drink, I always get drunk, and then he takes me home.

While I like many people, he doesn't have many friends.
>> Correct!

However, he really does good to his people.
>> Correct!

He try to do best to me, and I know it.
>> He tries to do his best to me and I know it.
 
We know each other very well.
>> Correct!

Catch you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124484 (Homework)ESSAY: What are the negative impacts of playing... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2
124483 The traveling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1
124482 If you could run a company or a business, what kind of business... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1404
124481 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1441
124480 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 0
124479 three tings i am grateful for. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1351
124478 My opinion of making a friend ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1731
124477 Finally trying Korean food ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1060
124476 12/29 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 6
124475 What¡¯s the headline today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2
124474 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 4
124473 12/28 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1180
124472 I need your explanation ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1641
124471 What are the negative impacts of playing computer games? What... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 2179
124470 What can you bring to our company? ¾È*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1129
124469 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1204
124468 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1183
124467 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1997
124466 Is fishing an important industry in your country? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1664
124465 Organized ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04