¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-23 2659

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is your most unforgettable experience at work? What happened? Why is it unforgettable for you? Tell something about it using 3 to 4 short paragraphs.

1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down. I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.

Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred. And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'

After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident. As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.

I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jason. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


1 month after my joining to the company, during my workhour, accidentally one noise sounds. And electricity's shut down.
>> 1 month after joining the company I worked for, I accidentally heard some noise during my work hour, and then the electricity shut down.
I thought something fallen on our container house, I went out leaving behind my documents work.
>> I thought something has fallen on our container house so I went our and left my work documents behind.
Then I saw, so many employees of Lotte chemical were running to one place, there was fire, and so many smokes occurred.
>> Then I saw that many employees of Lotte Chemical were running to one place because there were fire and smoke everywhere.
And the announcement said, 'all remaining people stop what they're doing, gather out of the front gate.'
>> Suddenly, the announcement said that all remaining people should stop what they were doing and they should gather on the front gate.
After breaking out from the factory, I heard about this accident.
>> Correct.
As soon as turning on the main 154kV line, which means very high voltage so only advanced technicians can deal with, a outdoor transformer was exploded.
>> As soon as turned on the main 154kV line, which has a very high voltage so only advanced technicians can handle it, an outdoor transformer suddenly exploded.
I learned from it that electricity never lies, and never permit us to make mistakes. It can be a malfunction, also it can be a disaster
>> From that experience, I learned that electricity never lies and never permits us to make mistakes, it can be a malfunction or a disaster.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121341 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1047
121340 Talk about how technology has changed in your lifetime. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1192
121339 Do you think writing will disappear in the future, once... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1024
121338 Previous class review (Han liver park, eggplant, benefits) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121337 Cancer ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121336 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121335 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121334 What ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121333 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121332 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1422
121331 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1253
121330 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2334
121329 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1321
121328 2. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1040
121327 stupid plan ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1362
121326 How older people viewed in yout country? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121325 How are you similar to your parents? How are you different? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121324 How do you overcome fear? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1222
121323 The best way to enjoy reading books. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121322 want type man ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04