¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/21

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-25 2910

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are several people whom I could get advice from.
When I have a problem with work, I ask for help from co-workers and seniors.
If I encounter a worrying situation regarding lifestyle, I tell the situation to my friends and family.
It depends on the situation who I ask for help, but, my mother is the best person that I can count on.
Whenever I have a problem, I ask for advice from my mother, and she always gives me a wonderful solution.
Sometimes I feel better when I just talk about stressful events to her.
She is very smart, have experienced many situations for a long time, and knows me very well.
So, she is able to give me proper counseling.
I want to be a person like my mother who someone can count on when they are in a bad situation.
I try to feel empathy and give the best advice to them when someone ask me to consel.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there,Dr. Stella!

You are lucky to have a mother who has such wide range of experience and wisdom. It is true that giving a good advice is only achieved when one had an experience.Thus, listen to her and decide on taking her advice.

As evident on the evaluation below, you only had some grammar suggestion at the last sentence. Congratulations for an excellent work done! I admire your effort in always coming up with top class work.

See you later!

-T. Donna~
There are several people whom I could get advice from.
>> Correct!

When I have a problem with work, I ask for help from co-workers and seniors.
>> Correct!

If I encounter a worrying situation regarding lifestyle, I tell the situation to my friends and family.
>> Correct!

It depends on the situation who I ask for help, but, my mother is the best person that I can count on.
>> Correct!

Whenever I have a problem, I ask for advice from my mother, and she always gives me a wonderful solution.
>> Correct!

Sometimes I feel better when I just talk about stressful events to her.
>> Correct!

She is very smart, have experienced many situations for a long time, and knows me very well.
>> Correct!

So, she is able to give me proper counseling.
>> Correct!

I want to be a person like my mother who someone can count on when they are in a bad situation.
>> Correct!

I try to feel empathy and give the best advice to them when someone ask me to consel.
>> I try to feel empathy and give the best advice to them when someone asks me for counsel.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123778 What sort of animals live at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-25 0
123777 Would you prefer an English teacher from your own country or one... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2404
123776 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2
123775 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 0
123774 Tr. Jean Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 7
123773 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 0
123772 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2197
123771 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 1794
123770 Which of these is better for your health: eating healthy or... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2330
123769 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 1803
123768 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 5
123767 I love cold noodles ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2499
123766 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 0
123765 Usually on birthdays, we eat with people close to us. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 1828
123764 First of all, there are lots of seniors living alone. So, they... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2075
123763 How can we solve social problems with scientific and... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2316
123762 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 1
123761 Can you understand the desire to live a simpler life? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 2341
123760 I am happy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 1
123759 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-24 1708

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04