¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/27 homewokr

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-09-27 2133

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I coudln't forget about 2022 Worldcup.
It was the first Worldcup which was held in Korea, and most of the Korean anticipated about the games.
Korean soccer team was not a strong team, and they were just expected to do top 16.
However, they showed a great job, and acheived to do semi-final.
Hiddink, head coach of the Korean soccer team, and the Korean players won the games when they were in the crisis.
It was famous for street cheering in Korea.
Many Korean joined in park and street, and they cheered the Korean team together watching big size television and wearing red-colored T-shirts.
Later, milions of people were joined in Gwangwhamun Plaza and cheered together,
Several freign presses saw these scenes interesting and reported these supporting.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Stella!

The World Cup is definitely one that places South Korea in the map especially during the year 2002. As you have described it was intense and action packed. There was an amazing energy from that moment that makes it so unforgettable. 

Your composition makes me think that you truly love sports. You captured the scenario of that time and also gave distinct moments of your experience. Thank you for sharing this awesome memory.

Study the suggestions made to some of your sentences. Thank you for all of your hard work as always!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

I coudln't forget about 2022 Worldcup.
>> I coudln't forget about the 2002 World Cup.

It was the first Worldcup which was held in Korea, and most of the Korean anticipated about the games.
>> It was the first World Cup which was held in Korea, and most of the Koreans anticipated the games.

Korean soccer team was not a strong team, and they were just expected to do top 16.
>> U Korean soccer team was not a strong team, and they were just expected to make it on top 16.

However, they showed a great job, and acheived to do semi-final.
>> However, they showed a great job, and acheived to make it on the semi-final.

Hiddink, head coach of the Korean soccer team, and the Korean players won the games when they were in the crisis.
>> Correct!
Or: crisis= crunch time

It was famous for street cheering in Korea.
>> Correct!

Many Korean joined in park and street, and they cheered the Korean team together watching big size television and wearing red-colored T-shirts.
>> Many Koreans joined in the parks and streets, and they cheered on the Korean team together, watching on big size television and wearing red-colored t-shirts.

Later, milions of people were joined in Gwangwhamun Plaza and cheered together,
>> Later, milions of people joined at Gwangwhamun Plaza and cheered altogether.

Several freign presses saw these scenes interesting and reported these supporting.
>> Several foreign press saw these scenes and got interested and reported this kind of support.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121822 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 973
121821 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2
121820 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1777
121819 How can we develop good habits? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1295
121818 If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1369
121817 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1702
121816 What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1086
121815 If you could ask your favorite Disney princess a question, what... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1253
121814 What would life be like without your computer? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1270
121813 If a natural disaster hit your town, what would you do? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1980
121812 Have you ever had the experience of being a leader? What did you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1761
121811 My best friend ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 0
121810 What if a natural disaster hit my town? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1409
121809 What do you think of hunting? Would you eat an animal that you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1639
121808 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1526
121807 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1644
121806 How do I value my friendship. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2036
121805 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1517
121804 Why I think surrounded by good people is good. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1511
121803 How I relieve stress. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1102

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04