¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How has your health changed when you were younger compared to now? What were your eating habits then

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-09-29 1917

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to. But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older. Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elic, thank you for doing your best in this homework! Your sentences were very nice. I am happy that your punctuations and capitalizations are now correct. Please review my corrections carefully. Try to take notes of the corrections which you have noticed from them. Again, thank you and have a great day ahead! :)

- Teacher Raven 


When I was little, I was a pick eater that I ate what I want to.
>> When I was little, I was a picky eater, I ate only what I want.
But not anymore, I can't digest well as I'm getting older.
>> But not anymore, as I got older, I had a hard time digesting food.
Also, I don't really get a fast food without midnight. :)
>> I also don't really get fast food at midnight.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122781 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 0
122780 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3207
122779 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2
122778 10/4 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2371
122777 What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting rather than... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2149
122776 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 0
122775 f you could celebrate your own birthday the way you wanted, what... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2341
122774 Jennny\'s English composition ¿ì*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2638
122773 What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting rather than... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2338
122772 What were your ideal jobs when you were a kid? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2372
122771 If smoking suddenly banned,¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2213
122770 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2221
122769 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2667
122768 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1
122767 My style ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 1
122766 What do you think of cosmetic surgery? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2683
122765 What can you say about foreign students staying in South Korea... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2397
122764 Hello ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 3450
122763 free ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 2213
122762 Is cancer a health problem concern for most people in your... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04