¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Advances in medical technology mean people are living longer. What are some of the downsides of this

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2022-10-06 2773

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe that with development of medical technology, people's life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
However, there are some drawbacks. Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life. In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. I want to work until my 65 ages and then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jane! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I believe that with development of medical technology, people's life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. 
>>> I believe that with the development of medical technology, people's life expectancy will get longer and longer than before. 

They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
>>> They can be checked by checking health in the advance exam and be cared for by high medical cure ways.

However, there are some drawbacks. 
>>> CORRECT!

Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. 
>>> Firstly, some people are just living in the ICUs of hospitals or nursing homes depending on ventilators or oxygen systems. 

They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.
>>> They cannot speak and breathe by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.

In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
>>> In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthily with stamina rather than living longer and longer.

Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. 
>>> Personally, I want to live until my mid-80s healthy. 

I want to work until my 65 ages and then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
>>> I want to work until the age of 65 then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122568 How often do I meet my friend Â÷*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1835
122567 The most important thing school should teach children is.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1505
122566 What\'s the worst movie you have ever seen? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1567
122565 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1
122564 How has the pandemic affected your life? What changed in your... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1416
122563 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1
122562 What are some rude and insulting gestures in your country? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1914
122561 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1806
122560 Homework ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2317
122559 What would you like to do with your family? õ*ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 1710
122558 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2568
122557 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2705
122556 Korean language supporters ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2082
122555 09.22.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 0
122554 What month do you like the best? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2
122553 Hello donna! ÇÑ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 0
122552 School ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1746
122551 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1519
122550 9/22... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1906
122549 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-22 1959

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04