무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Advances in medical technology mean people are living longer. What are some of the downsides of this

작성자: 박*경
2022-10-06 3207

회원님의 영작문

I believe that with development of medical technology, people's life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
However, there are some drawbacks. Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life. In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. I want to work until my 65 ages and then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Jane! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I believe that with development of medical technology, people's life expectancy is getting longer and longer than before. 
>>> I believe that with the development of medical technology, people's life expectancy will get longer and longer than before. 

They can check by checking health in advance exam and be cared by high medical cure ways.
>>> They can be checked by checking health in the advance exam and be cared for by high medical cure ways.

However, there are some drawbacks. 
>>> CORRECT!

Firstly, some people are just living in the ICU of hospitals or nursing homes by depending on ventilators or oxygen system. 
>>> Firstly, some people are just living in the ICUs of hospitals or nursing homes depending on ventilators or oxygen systems. 

They cannot speak and breath by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.
>>> They cannot speak and breathe by themselves without those devices, so we have some doubts if it is valid or not when it comes to qualities of the life.

In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthy with having stamina rather than living longer and longer.
>>> In addition, I think as long as we live, we have to live healthily with stamina rather than living longer and longer.

Personally, I want to live until my mid 80s with health. 
>>> Personally, I want to live until my mid-80s healthy. 

I want to work until my 65 ages and then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
>>> I want to work until the age of 65 then I'd like to live more worthy such as helping people who are in need.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
121553 Discipline 차*진 완료 2022-08-12 2
121552 Describe a memorable food that you have experienced in your life. 김*진 완료 2022-08-12 2
121551 If you were to give a piece of advice to the younger you, what... 신*섭 완료 2022-08-12 1704
121550 Are there any rules in your country about eating in public? 전*채 완료 2022-08-12 1321
121549 Homework 김*우 완료 2022-08-12 1101
121548 Is reading fairy tales better than watching television? 구*우 완료 2022-08-12 1593
121547 homework 윤*원 완료 2022-08-11 2275
121546 What are the possible benefits of working on weekends? / What... 박*태 완료 2022-08-11 1085
121545 8/11 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2022-08-11 1392
121544 Ocean 김*서 완료 2022-08-11 1057
121543 Homework 김*서 완료 2022-08-11 1291
121542 What are the ways to prevent health problems? 이*태 완료 2022-08-11 1433
121541 What do you love doing with your relatives? 김*겸 완료 2022-08-11 1582
121540 Homework 이*경 완료 2022-08-11 1100
121539 If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you... 김*겸 완료 2022-08-11 1045
121538 homework 박*민 완료 2022-08-11 2
121537 What if you could spend your life never sleeping? What would you... 김*경 완료 2022-08-11 1218
121536 Dairy 지*진 완료 2022-08-11 1043
121535 Is change always good? 김*경 완료 2022-08-11 1348
121534 check please 하*희 완료 2022-08-11 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]