무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-10-11 2920

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T. Donna.
It was a tough day.
I had a meeting with a marketing manager who want to resign a few minutes ago.
Of course, I tried to turn her mind back, it was failed.
She seemed to be exhausted about her work more than I have thought.
And I have another bad news.
New staff who joined us today resigned.
She was unsatisfied with our clinic's welfare.
Although she got her job for good salary, she wanted more and more.
However, as we know that, she was a just new employee.
How could I give everything she wanted at first day?
I should not have let her join us.
Meanwhile, I thought I am a good advisor.
After this event, I had to change my thought.
That's because I failed to turn one's mind back.
As I got older, some kind of thought came to my mind.
It's useless to give advice to someone who doesn't want it.
Tonight, I really need a whiskey.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, good evening, Dr. Kim!

It's yet another challenging day there in your clinic. I wonder why your staff leave one by one every now and then. Honestly, I have worked on the radio for 15 years with a very low salary but I never considered leaving my job because I find value in what I do and it adds joy and meaning to my life. The question is, "How can you make them feel this way so that they will never leave? However, we know that it is unfair to compare the radio and the clinic because tasks and dynamics with colleagues are different.

It was a good try to convince your staff for one last time to stay. Even so, you are absolutely right- they will leave if they want to. Therefore, consider all factors and continuously evaluate your leadership as well as your guidelines so that they can find working in your clinic valuable and meaningful. It may also be good to ask the reason for every employee who leaves as a survey for their reason of leaving.  I am sure you can resolve this problem in no time. 

This composition was well crafted from beginning to end. Review my suggestions and analyze carefully the grammar points.

When in doubt, pray to God about your concerns. He answers. Then, cheers to your glass of whisky for the road!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It was a tough day.
>> Correct!

I had a meeting with a marketing manager who want to resign a few minutes ago.
>> I had a meeting with the marketing manager who wants to resign a few minutes ago.

Of course, I tried to turn her mind back, it was failed.
>> Of course, I tried to turn her mind back but I failed.

She seemed to be exhausted about her work more than I have thought.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

And I have another bad news.
>> And, I have another bad news.

New staff who joined us today resigned.
>> The new staff who joined us today resigned.

She was unsatisfied with our clinic's welfare.
>> Correct!

Although she got her job for good salary, she wanted more and more.
>> Correct!

However, as we know that, she was a just new employee.
>> However, as we know, she is just a new employee.

How could I give everything she wanted at first day?
>>How could I give everything she wanted at the first day?

I should not have let her join us.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Meanwhile, I thought I am a good advisor.
>> Correct!

After this event, I had to change my thought.
>> Correct!
Or: After this event, I have to change my thoughts.

That's because I failed to turn one's mind back.
>> Correct!
Or: That's because I failed to convince someone.

As I got older, some kind of thought came to my mind.
>> Correct!
>> As I get older, some kind of thought comes to my mind.

It's useless to give advice to someone who doesn't want it.
>> Correct!

Tonight, I really need a whiskey.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
125169 Homework 장*희 완료 2023-01-30 1
125168 Monday Homework 류*우 완료 2023-01-30 1542
125167 Controlled CVD Growth of Highly ⟨111⟩-Oriented... 장*준 완료 2023-01-30 1025
125166 Controlled CVD Growth of Highly ⟨111⟩-Oriented... 장*준 완료 2023-01-30 1603
125165 Homework 권*미 완료 2023-01-30 0
125164 Women should go to military. 김*서 완료 2023-01-30 3372
125163 Homework 권*미 완료 2023-01-30 0
125162 Homework 권*미 완료 2023-01-30 0
125161 homework 편*연 완료 2023-01-30 5
125160 homework 신*휘 완료 2023-01-30 983
125159 Lesson 1 : Essay Question 김*혜 완료 2023-01-30 1038
125158 What are your passions and hobbies? 임*윤 완료 2023-01-30 1025
125157 Homework 함*주 완료 2023-01-30 1
125156 1/30 고*진 완료 2023-01-30 9
125155 27.Jan.2023 김*정 완료 2023-01-30 2
125154 What do you think of the mandatory military service in Korea? 송*라 완료 2023-01-29 2
125153 In what ways did you obtain real satisfaction when you were on... 양*은 완료 2023-01-29 1428
125152 Which greeting kind of annoys you? 김*윤 완료 2023-01-29 1355
125151 have women to training and I think that if korea\\\'s population... 김*수 완료 2023-01-29 1348
125150 In your opinion, is it better to have regular trips or avail of... 김*국 완료 2023-01-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]