¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would the world be a safer place without nuclear weapons?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-10-17 2812

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have to mention about the world without nuclear weapons. I am sure that we can live under the much safer places. Radiation only needs in medical fields and industrial areas which diagnose diseases in human body and inspect proper products. It is true that radiation can help us finding diseases that lead to fast treatment before it becomes more severe. However, if it uses in military purposes, our nations will be disappeared in our planet. We have seen the effect of nuclear weapon in Japan. There are still a lot of people who have been suffering from the side effect of nuclear bomb. Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because it's special characteristic. There are radiation in anywhere from ground to sky, so humans are exposed to it anytime even though, it is a small amount, there will be some risk of cancer according to the total doses which humans receive. So, we have to try to reduce the dose even in me

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I don't have to mention about the world without nuclear weapons. 
>> CORRECT! 
I am sure that we can live under the much safer places. 
>> CORRECT! 
Radiation only needs in medical fields and industrial areas which diagnose diseases in human body and inspect proper products. 
>> Radiation is only needed in medical fields and industrial areas which diagnose diseases in human body and inspect proper products. 
It is true that radiation can help us finding diseases that lead to fast treatment before it becomes more severe. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, if it uses in military purposes, our nations will be disappeared in our planet. 
>> However, if it is used for military purposes, our nations will disappear in our planet. 
We have seen the effect of nuclear weapon in Japan. 
>> CORRECT! 
There are still a lot of people who have been suffering from the side effect of nuclear bomb.
>> CORRECT! 
 Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because it's special characteristic. 
>>  Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because it has a special characteristic. 
OR >>  Although, some victims are affected far from the middle of explosion, they might have a possibility of cancer because of its special characteristic. 
There are radiation in anywhere from ground to sky, so humans are exposed to it anytime even though, it is a small amount, there will be some risk of cancer according to the total doses which humans receive. 
>> There's radiation in anywhere from ground to sky, so humans are exposed to it anytime; even though it is a small amount, there will be some risk of cancer according to the total doses which humans receive. 
So, we have to try to reduce the dose even in me
>> So, we have to try to reduce the dose even in medications.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124060 HOMEWORK: It is sometimes suggested that certain ideas can only... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124059 My favorite musicians. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1882
124058 Homework (12/08) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 6
124057 i like meet many people. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124056 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 0
124055 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2078
124054 clean ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124053 How often do you take a taxi? What type of transportation do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1640
124052 Do you enjoy learning how to use new technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2712
124051 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1
124050 Complete each phrase below by using one of the prepositions from... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2120
124049 4 sentences ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124048 The importance of asking polite ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1671
124047 abduction ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1722
124046 it\'s only natural that an excellent coach from another country... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1688
124045 The friends for teenagers ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1
124044 Where is the best place to eat in your town? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124043 12/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1542
124042 How do you behave when you or your team loses? Are you a sore... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1788
124041 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1871

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04