¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/17 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-17 3071

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
I had a chance to practice smiling.
Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Dr. Stella!

Sometimes a sweet, sincere, and a warm smile is all we need to creat the best first timpression. This is true in your case. Well, the people who have been with us for a very long time know who we truly are and those we just met, we continuously try our best to win their hearts.

Anyway, there are some grammar patterns and suggestions to a few of your sentences below. Your writing contains very clear images due to the way the sentences were made. Keep up the strong sense of correctness in your composition.

See you then!

-T. Donna~

People who meet me for the first used to say that I look kind and nice.
>> People who meet me for the first time used to say that I look kind and nice.

In fact, when I was in the elementary school, classmates said that at first it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.
>> Correct!
Or: In fact, when I was in the elementary school, my classmates said that at first,  it was difficult to talk to me because I was with a blank face.

So, people often misunderstood my charecteristics for the first impression, and after they got along with me, they changed their minds.
>> Correct!

I had a chance to practice smiling.
>> Correct!

Someone advised me that It would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth was straight and I had a beautiful smile.
>> Someone advised me that it would be great to smile showing teeth because my teeth are straight and I have a beautiful smile.

Since that time I practiced smile in front of mirror and try to smile before other people.
>>Since that time,  I practiced smiling in front of the mirror and tried to smile before other people.

I think my effort works and now I could give people a good impression.
>> Correct!
Or: I think my efforts work and now, I could give people a good impression.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125834 Do you think that childcare centers will give more benefits than... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 3
125833 My ideal job, and company. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1514
125832 Talk about learning skills ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125831 2/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125830 Fresh fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1981
125829 What do you like about your smartphone? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 0
125828 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125827 What do you think are the most important qualities a president... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1688
125826 2023-2/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1813
125825 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1526
125824 my all time favorite movie. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1113
125823 Tell me something that motivates you to become productive. ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2104
125822 Hanging out ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 3
125821 Feeling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125820 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1644
125819 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2279
125818 introduction 1 ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125817 Can money buy happiness or success? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2
125816 introduction 2 ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125815 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1435

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04