¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the worst disaster in your opinion? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-10-18 3082

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I realized the worst disaster to human being is the war when I heard what was happened in Ukraine. It left many casualties and collapsed buildings. Men were forced to enlist in the army, and women were raped by the enemy. It shows how creulty looks like and must not be begun.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Judy!

You are right about this man-made disaster. Raging war kills so many people from both parties. Surely, there is no winner in this case. Due to the leader's desire of stronger power, s/he places countries in peril. This is unimaginable during the 21st Century. Nevertheless, we hope that the war will end soonest.

Below are my grammar suggestions. Read each sentence carefully and spot the difference.

See you in class tomorrow!

-T. Donna~

I realized the worst disaster to human being is the war when I heard what was happened in Ukraine. 
>> I realized that the worst disaster to human beings is war when I heard what was happening in Ukraine. 

It left many casualties and collapsed buildings. 
>> Correct!

Men were forced to enlist in the army, and women were raped by the enemy. 
>> Correct!

It shows how creulty looks like and must not be begun.
>> it shows how cruelty looks like and must not continue.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124518 How do you feel about your parents growing older? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4
124517 What pets are most popular in your country? Do you have any... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1570
124516 How can using social media put your privacy at risk? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 2
124515 end ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 9
124514 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 3
124513 How did you manage overcoming yourself from using social media? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1760
124512 What did you do with your first salary? What were the things you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1062
124511 Define gender equality. What are the factors that should be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1247
124510 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124509 What was the single best thing that happened this past year? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1522
124508 I love this new year! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1493
124507 Do you prefer to watch, listen to or read about news? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 0
124506 29.Dec.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1
124505 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 4
124504 How much do you value your privacy? Why? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 9
124503 The impulse buying ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-30 1451
124502 If your friend was doing something dangerous or illegal, what... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 2
124501 What is a memorable social gathering that you had in the past? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 0
124500 Why do some people experience more difficulty than others when... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 9
124499 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 1579

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04