¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever worked for a company that has implemented any innovative ideas?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-10-19 4129

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!

I appreciate the time you took to accomplish this homework. Thank you for answering the question in a detailed and coherent manner. 

You are great at making sentences and explaining the past of your previous workplace. I hope you find the minor corrections below helpful in your writing. 


Until our next class!


~ Teacher Gela



I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. 
>> I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed an apartment with an ergonomic design which was innovative then. 

We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. 
>> CORRECT

Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 
>> Our company fell behind in construction experience despite super-sound finances because it belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 

We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.
>> We were passionate about becoming the first in the Korean construction industry, so we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative designs for houses that other companies had never considered.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122989 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2
122988 Do you try to maintain a balanced diet? ½Å*°ü ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2802
122987 my hobby À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1
122986 How often do you go shopping for clothes? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2
122985 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 3449
122984 What problems do pets create for people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2578
122983 10/13 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 3133
122982 sadness ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2351
122981 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2725
122980 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2
122979 Write down a novel story you know! ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 3644
122978 Is sadness a bad feeling? Are there good types of sadness and... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2568
122977 How long have you known your best friend and what do you like... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2906
122976 Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 6922
122975 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2507
122974 Sadness plays an important role in people\'s lives ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2766
122973 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 0
122972 Can manners affect your success in life? How? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2205
122971 Make Sentences using given words. ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2948
122970 The call-center ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04