¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever worked for a company that has implemented any innovative ideas?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-10-19 3940

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!

I appreciate the time you took to accomplish this homework. Thank you for answering the question in a detailed and coherent manner. 

You are great at making sentences and explaining the past of your previous workplace. I hope you find the minor corrections below helpful in your writing. 


Until our next class!


~ Teacher Gela



I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed the apartment with an ergonomic design which was an innovative design then. 
>> I used to work for a construction company that planned and constructed an apartment with an ergonomic design which was innovative then. 

We tried to provide houses with more comfortable and human-friendly ideas. 
>> CORRECT

Our company fell behind in construction experience in spite of super sound finance because our company belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 
>> Our company fell behind in construction experience despite super-sound finances because it belatedly entered the construction industry as a subsidiary of a conglomerate in Korea. 

We had a passion to be the first in the Korean construction industry so that we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative design for houses that other companies had never considered yet.
>> We were passionate about becoming the first in the Korean construction industry, so we needed something innovative to tell us from other competitors or make us noteworthy, which made us focus on innovative designs for houses that other companies had never considered.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125727 What do you want to eat this weekend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 0
125726 One of my bucket lists ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-17 1442
125725 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125724 homework 02.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 969
125723 Is it okay for middle schoolers to have jobs like babysitting or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1031
125722 2023-2/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1820
125721 Why are people so scared of death? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1970
125720 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125719 Which one do you think is better, being rich or being beautiful?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1114
125718 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1031
125717 Is there anything that annoys you about living in your country? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125716 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1591
125715 What are the pros and cons of being a celebrity? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125714 How important are first impressions to you? ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1
125713 What kind of person do you think is the Yale professor who... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 2
125712 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1027
125711 homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1324
125710 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125709 Drinking became culture ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 0
125708 How to study English ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1579

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04