¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

10/24 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-10-30 3605

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I often hope to be at a spa or get some massage for relaxing whole body when I feel tired and stressed.
I have been in the mood for a relaxing treat this week because of my work.
I had an important presentation for a conference last thursday.
I felt burdonsome and stressful preparing this presentation for recent few weeks.
Even the day before the presentaion, I couldn't sleep well because I was so nervous.
Luckily, I finished my presentation well.
After I ended my presentation, I felt comfort and tired.
So, I spent time supplementing my sleep and shopping.
As though I recieved a relaxing treat, I was refreshed and relaxed without worry.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Stella!

It is wonderful to know that if you are in a mood for some treat for yourself, you go for it. I think that is very brave and well deserved. When you are tired and feel to simply relax, soothe yourself.

Below, there are some spelling and grammar suggestions. Moreover, word forms vary when used in different positions in sentences. Hence, kindly go over the sentences carefully and make sure to note down the correct word forms. 

Excellent exposition! See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

I often hope to be at a spa or get some massage for relaxing whole body when I feel tired and stressed.
>>  I often hope to be at a spa or get some massage for relaxing the whole body when I feel tired and stressed.

I have been in the mood for a relaxing treat this week because of my work.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

I had an important presentation for a conference last thursday.
>> Correct!
Or: Thursday

I felt burdonsome and stressful preparing this presentation for recent few weeks.
>>  I felt burdensome and stressed preparing for this presentation for the recent few weeks.

Even the day before the presentaion, I couldn't sleep well because I was so nervous.
>> Correct!
Or: presentation

Luckily, I finished my presentation well.
>> Correct!

After I ended my presentation, I felt comfort and tired.
>> Correct!

So, I spent time supplementing my sleep and shopping.
>> Correct!

As though I recieved a relaxing treat, I was refreshed and relaxed without worry.
>> As I have received a relaxing treat, I was refreshed and relaxed without worries.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122444 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2019
122443 Oh no .. I knew this was today\'s hw page.. (Sep 19) ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 6
122442 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 0
122441 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2
122440 What is the best way to make new friends? Do you like making new... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2438
122439 How do you feel after a long vacation. ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2481
122438 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1864
122437 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 0
122436 When you travel, would you rather go to a place where there are... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2078
122435 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1782
122434 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1
122433 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2942
122432 Preparation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1
122431 Have you ever injured yourself while working out? What happened? ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1939
122430 During workdays, where do you have lunch and who do you usually... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2207
122429 Think of a problem that you have encountered and tell me how you... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2789
122428 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1
122427 What is your opinion about the banning of giving work... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1934
122426 Stupid ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2025
122425 Which professions are very well-paid these days? Why does... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04