¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you feel when you take food supplements? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-11-01 1619

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because i gained weight over the years. So, i tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but i felt nothing. There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and i realized it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Judy!

Congratulations to your perfect grammar here on your homework answer! Unfortunately, you do not feel any good effect from collagen. Hence, there is no better substiture to eating less and also moving more.

Your composition had a very good introduction, a detailed body, and a complete conclusion. Great job!

See you later in class!

-T. Donna~

I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because i gained weight over the years. 
>> Correct!
Or: I believed taking collagen will be helpful to cure stretchmarks because I gained weight over the years. 

So, i tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but i felt nothing. 
>> Correct!
Or: So, I tried a low molecular fish collagen which is a powder type, but I felt nothing. 

There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and i realized it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.
>> Correct!
Or: There¡¯s no effect on my skin, and I realized that it¡¯s difficult to remove it once it appears.ambiance 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122974 Sadness plays an important role in people\'s lives ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2527
122973 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 0
122972 Can manners affect your success in life? How? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1895
122971 Make Sentences using given words. ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2693
122970 The call-center ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1
122969 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2
122968 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1908
122967 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2517
122966 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1
122965 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 3
122964 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2532
122963 10/12 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2666
122962 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2565
122961 emotion ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1910
122960 Goal is for doing something their best ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 0
122959 What¡¯s are the differences between movies and plays? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2627
122958 Do you easily recover from an illness? How do cope with it? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2630
122957 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 1954
122956 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2503
122955 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04