¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it a good reason to have children to avoid being lonely later in life? If raising children were f

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-10 1868

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. 
>>> CORRECT!

The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. 
>>> CORRECT!

Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. 
>>> CORRECT!

If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123419 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 2032
123418 What other opportunities are you looking forward to in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 2555
123417 Is online schooling as effective as in-class education? Why or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1876
123416 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? Why?... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-05 1250
123415 electronic ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1528
123414 starving ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2452
123413 The only complaint I have with English is¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1822
123412 Tell us about the most important festival in your country in... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1805
123411 How many subjects do you have at school? Why is it important to... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2506
123410 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2132
123409 Are you a night owl or a morning person? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2992
123408 It is the 21st century. Why are people in some places still... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2118
123407 How much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2
123406 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 0
123405 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1502
123404 How do you think that movies will change in the future? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2104
123403 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 1621
123402 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2
123401 Use the following words in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2149
123400 made japchae ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-04 2449

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04