¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it a good reason to have children to avoid being lonely later in life? If raising children were f

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-10 2099

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. 
>>> CORRECT!

The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. 
>>> CORRECT!

Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. 
>>> CORRECT!

If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123874 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2545
123873 Would you like to attend a World Cup in the future? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1976
123872 Which country, city, or town have you always wanted to travel... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2108
123871 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123870 HOMEWORK: What extreme sports do you know? Why do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 3
123869 Homework (11/29) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 5
123868 I love the local food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1763
123867 HOMEWORK: What is the most interesting thing about learning... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123866 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 0
123865 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1593
123864 What is your busiest day of the week? Why is it the busiest day? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1998
123863 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123862 What do you think about genetically modified food? Do you think... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2088
123861 What can you say about media bias? Does it exist in your... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2232
123860 Many children rebel through clothes, music, and extreme... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2139
123859 free ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1679
123858 11/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1940
123857 26.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123856 Who is the best classmate you\'ve ever met? What makes that... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 0
123855 Do you have better conversations when you are drinking? Why or... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2143

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04