¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it a good reason to have children to avoid being lonely later in life? If raising children were f

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-11-10 2042

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I don¡¯t deny that I wanted to have many children to make me much happier. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, having children is not only for me but also for them. People need protection and care until they are grown up enough to stand on their feet. 
>>> CORRECT!

The better support for them, the better for them. When it comes to raising children, just money is not the key to all problems. 
>>> CORRECT!

Children need more than that. they need enough love and caring, which is the reason why the number of children I have should be limited. 
>>> CORRECT!

If raising children were free with unprecedented government support, I couldn¡¯t have more than four children because I want to give them respectively as much love as I can.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122977 How long have you known your best friend and what do you like... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2742
122976 Do you ever feel like you are just wasting your time? What... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 6741
122975 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2338
122974 Sadness plays an important role in people\'s lives ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2669
122973 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 0
122972 Can manners affect your success in life? How? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2081
122971 Make Sentences using given words. ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2834
122970 The call-center ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1
122969 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2
122968 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2043
122967 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 2661
122966 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 1
122965 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-13 3
122964 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2639
122963 10/12 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2858
122962 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2741
122961 emotion ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2143
122960 Goal is for doing something their best ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 0
122959 What¡¯s are the differences between movies and plays? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2770
122958 Do you easily recover from an illness? How do cope with it? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-12 2859

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04