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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you agree that a society that is not capable of allowing women to have greater roles does not mov

작성자: 황*하
2022-11-11 2700

회원님의 영작문

There are still a lot of countries which don't gurantee women's right around world. Arabic countries are well known that women have limited activities. They are needed to wear a special clothes called Abaya which hide their body shape and some countries force women to wear a Hijap which is like face mask. I don't know the major reason but I have heard of rumor about the origin of women's costume that is related with men's behavior. Men in Arabic countries easily fall in love, although they got married. They enjoy playing with new girls. So, men don't want their partner to exposure to another people by hiding their face and body. It sounds persuasive but I believe that it would be related with their culture. Maybe men in those countries don't want women to be educated because its countries are mostly royal state, kings are afraid of request from the educated people. Although, there are many problem, there were slight changes in Saudi Arabia. They allow women to get a drive liscense.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


There are still a lot of countries which don't gurantee women's right around world. 
>> CORRECT! 
Arabic countries are well known that women have limited activities. 
>> CORRECT! 
They are needed to wear a special clothes called Abaya which hide their body shape and some countries force women to wear a Hijap which is like face mask. 
>> They are needed to wear special clothes called Abaya which hides their body shape and some countries force women to wear a Hijap which is like a face mask. 
OR >> They are needed to wear a special clothing called Abaya which hides their body shape and some countries force women to wear a Hijap which is similar to a face mask. 
I don't know the major reason but I have heard of rumor about the origin of women's costume that is related with men's behavior. 
>> CORRECT! 
Men in Arabic countries easily fall in love, although they got married. 
>> CORRECT! 
They enjoy playing with new girls. 
>> CORRECT! 
So, men don't want their partner to exposure to another people by hiding their face and body. 
>> So, men don't want their partners to be exposed to other people by letting women hide their face and body. 
It sounds persuasive but I believe that it would be related with their culture. 
>> CORRECT! 
Maybe men in those countries don't want women to be educated because its countries are mostly royal state, kings are afraid of request from the educated people. 
>> Maybe men in those countries don't want women to be educated because these countries are mostly in a royal state, kings are afraid of requests from the educated people. 
Although, there are many problem, there were slight changes in Saudi Arabia. 
>> Although, there are many problems, there were slight changes in Saudi Arabia. 
They allow women to get a drive liscense.
>>  They allow women to get a driver's license.

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