¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why is doing volunteer work important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2022-11-13 3385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It's because volunteering helps poverty family or people, and it is good to our emotion like happy or great. And maybe I will respect about how the poverty people survived this extreme environment and facility or we can empathize their feeling at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Daisy. :)
Thank you for writing this essay. 
Volunteering is good because it opens our eyes to the dire situation of other people which in turn helps us empathize and extend a helping hand. 
I hope this day is going great for you. ^^
See you again later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

It's because volunteering helps poverty family or people, and it is good to our emotion like happy or great. 
>> It's because volunteering helps poor families or people, and it is good for our emotions because helping others can make us feel happy or great. 
And maybe I will respect about how the poverty people survived this extreme environment and facility or we can empathize their feeling at that time.
>> In addition, maybe it helps us learn how to respect poor people and realize how they are able to survive an extreme environment or situation. Volunteering helps us empathize with how they feel at that time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125838 Do you think it is possible for a cold hearted person to change Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2102
125837 What are you strengths and weaknesses? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1339
125836 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125835 What did you do before and don¡¯t now? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1452
125834 Do you think that childcare centers will give more benefits than... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 3
125833 My ideal job, and company. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1518
125832 Talk about learning skills ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 2
125831 2/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125830 Fresh fruit ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1982
125829 What do you like about your smartphone? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 0
125828 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1
125827 What do you think are the most important qualities a president... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-21 1693
125826 2023-2/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1814
125825 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1542
125824 my all time favorite movie. ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1120
125823 Tell me something that motivates you to become productive. ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2115
125822 Hanging out ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 3
125821 Feeling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1
125820 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 1652
125819 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-20 2288

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04