¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should books be censored? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-11-14 2875

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello John!
Thanks for the hard work! Please look through the corrections. They are only very minor as I can see you did your best. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate 

In my opinion, it is a hard problem to solve for us.
>>In my opinion, it is a hard problem for us to solve.
If we don't censor books, then people can be confused by many bad books.
>>CORRECT!
But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show for us.
>>But, if we censor books, then the government can show us only the books that they want to show us.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to think about this problem deeper and get a solution.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122320 What ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2
122319 Where I See Myself in 10 Years? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2
122318 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 1
122317 What country would you most want to visit, and why? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2118
122316 When you hear the term \"chance,\" what comes to mind? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2753
122315 When do you know if it\'s already time to change jobs? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2
122314 Should people try to modernize traditional music? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2
122313 How do you feel about your country¡¯s traditional music? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 1
122312 Please tell me about your first time talking with a foreigner. ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2157
122311 09.13.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 3
122310 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 3132
122309 How My Parents Maintain a Good Health ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 1141
122308 Do you think it¡¯s necessary to preserve traditions? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2304
122307 Some topics I avoid when I talk with someone for the first time ¾È*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 3510
122306 What was one idea you learned from the drama Narco Saints? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2
122305 9/13 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2257
122304 what do you think of a career in the army? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-14 2126
122303 Book ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1691
122302 9/13 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2067
122301 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2244

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04