¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that the police should be held accountable for what happened in Itaewon? Why or why not

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2022-11-16 2333

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. That's because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. The police couldn't command orders without the top dogs' permission.
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Sun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. 
>> CORRECT! 
That's because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. 
>> CORRECT! 
The police couldn't command orders without the top dogs' permission.
>> CORRECT! 
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. 
>> CORRECT! 
One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. 
>> CORRECT! 
he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
>> CORRECT! 
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124712 What role does coffee play in your life? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 1
124711 Does coffee affect your appetite? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-09 1
124710 What do you think happens when you overdose on coffee? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 1
124709 Can you think of some dangerous chores that you can\'t do? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 1063
124708 What is the best way to help a friend or relative who is an... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 1173
124707 Are violent video games bad? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 1308
124706 Do you think people are healthier today than 50 years ago? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 1
124705 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 5
124704 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 4
124703 What animal is the best pet to have? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 2
124702 How is a mistake different from an error? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-01-08 3
124701 What is the biggest change most people experience in their... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1342
124700 How can we prevent accidents caused by DUIs (Driving Under... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1230
124699 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 8
124698 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1251
124697 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1132
124696 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1316
124695 The request ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1
124694 What is your opinion about Pre-marital sex? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1949
124693 What are some other popular winter activities in your country? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-07 1393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04