¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that the police should be held accountable for what happened in Itaewon? Why or why not

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2022-11-16 2332

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. That's because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. The police couldn't command orders without the top dogs' permission.
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Sun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. 
>> CORRECT! 
That's because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. 
>> CORRECT! 
The police couldn't command orders without the top dogs' permission.
>> CORRECT! 
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. 
>> CORRECT! 
One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. 
>> CORRECT! 
he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
>> CORRECT! 
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124312 What are your goals? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1358
124311 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 6
124310 Christmas to me means a day to play. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1410
124309 What is your opinion about tattoo? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1362
124308 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1401
124307 Homework (12/20) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124306 Speaking of MBTI... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124305 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 0
124304 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1520
124303 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 2051
124302 blind date ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 5
124301 Is the bassist handsome? ^^ Share your answer in a few sentences. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124300 What is the most important thing in your life today? Answer in a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124299 sorry ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 3
124298 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1
124297 Where is the most amazing place you have been? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 3224
124296 Movie ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 5
124295 Describe my future self! ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1449
124294 animals ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 1301
124293 Homework 12/20 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-20 14

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04