¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that the police should be held accountable for what happened in Itaewon? Why or why not

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2022-11-16 2222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. That's because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. The police couldn't command orders without the top dogs' permission.
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Sun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. 
>> CORRECT! 
That's because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. 
>> CORRECT! 
The police couldn't command orders without the top dogs' permission.
>> CORRECT! 
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. 
>> CORRECT! 
One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. 
>> CORRECT! 
he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
>> CORRECT! 
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123208 word ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 1473
123207 What first impression do other people tell about you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 1
123206 What do you think is the most important thing to make a happy... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 3348
123205 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2125
123204 If you were going to be a teacher, where would you like to teach? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2050
123203 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 0
123202 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2
123201 What are some manners in your country that no longer exist? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2554
123200 Do you like to relax during the weekend? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 3481
123199 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2981
123198 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2169
123197 Do people know how you feel by looking at your face? Are you... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2573
123196 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 1848
123195 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2226
123194 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 0
123193 Are you against or in favor of cloning? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 1935
123192 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2530
123191 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2451
123190 Long trips or short ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 1
123189 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04