¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-11-17 2528

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
First, I was so impressed about your movie.
I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
You did your role very well.
You seemed to be a Jesus.
When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
I think you have many talents.
As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
I literally don't know how the time passed.
Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
This is a happiness, I think.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim! Friday is here!

I'm sorry I can't help but share our short film. As you can see, we shot this during day time but the director has to make it appear dark at night so, the overall cinematography was not very clear but proudly, the message was very clear. Thank you for applauding the part of the 'mayor' ^^ When I went to shoot with them, I thought it was a college project. ^^ I just did my best to help them. In the end, we won one award and it was the 'Independent Spirit Awad'

Well, COVID-19 was widely spreading that time so, I just watched my team online. Anyway, yesterday was a heartwarming moment for you and your wife. Ten years is definitely another achievement and a milestone for your relationship. A simple celebration means so much for women. Not only that, you also visited your new clinic together. You must have asked her as well of what she thinks about the space. To sum it all, I think you can be tired most of the time however, you have all the elements of happiness- a wonderful family, a stable career, and a great friend with Dr. MJ. 

I am grateful for yout time to draft and send this composition. As you notice, short sentences are efficient and can commit less mistakes. On the other hand, long sentences can challenge you to connect short sentences and ideas to one long gramatically correct one. Excellent piece of writing.

Have a great afteroon!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

First, I was so impressed about your movie.
>> Correct!

I saw many good actors and actresses, especially the mayor.
>> Correct! Thank you, I agree! ^^

You did your role very well.
>> Correct!

You seemed to be a Jesus.
>> Correct! 

When you gave a coat to the daughter's mom and said "I am also mother.", I almost cried.
>> Correct!

I think you have many talents.
>> Correct!

As I told you, my wife and I went out for a nice lunch.
>> Correct!

The restaurant was not luxurious, but we enjoyed our meal.
>> Correct!

In fact, the place was closer to snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)
>> In fact, the place was closer to a snack bar. (Is this a right sentence?)

Before our lunch, we went to a new building for our new clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: Before our lunch, we went to the new building of our new clinic.

That was an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.
>> That is an empty space now, but it made us feel so good.

In the afternoon, I worked as usual.
>> Correct!

Because Dr. MJ and I decided to change many things about our new clinic, we were so busy to do lots of paperwork about it.
>> Correct!

I literally don't know how the time passed.
>> Correct!

Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make daughters sleep.
>> Now I am at home, and my wife is trying to make our daughters sleep.

Maybe we will spend our time for only us, drinking some beers with some snacks in a while.
>> Correct!

This is a happiness, I think.
>> This is happiness, I think.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121824 8/23 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1747
121823 8/23 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1471
121822 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1082
121821 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2
121820 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1900
121819 How can we develop good habits? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1424
121818 If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, what... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1483
121817 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1819
121816 What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1200
121815 If you could ask your favorite Disney princess a question, what... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1328
121814 What would life be like without your computer? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1433
121813 If a natural disaster hit your town, what would you do? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2113
121812 Have you ever had the experience of being a leader? What did you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1940
121811 My best friend ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 0
121810 What if a natural disaster hit my town? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1545
121809 What do you think of hunting? Would you eat an animal that you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1767
121808 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1671
121807 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1855
121806 How do I value my friendship. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 2115
121805 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-23 1557

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04