¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Essay

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Çö
2022-11-23 1932

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The standards for good sons and daughters have changed greatly with the times. It can be divided into pre-Joseon, Joseon, and modern times. Before the Joseon Dynasty, It was a country with Buddhist ideas, so It had a relatively horizontal atmosphere compared to Joseon.
However, the Joseon Dynasty was not the case because it was an era dominated by Confucianism. The son had to be loyal to his parents, and became a successful person if he passed the past examination.
The daughter had to be loyal to the man. In fact, even in modern Korea, this aspect has not disapeared. Gender conflicts due to gender differences are continuing, and only universities are the best goals in adolescence. Even though the goal does not have to be unconditionally a university.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Harry, I believe that you're doing well. You just need to slow down and minimize hesitating and repeating or changing your words and sentences. Stick to what you have said already. The more you change your answer, the more mistakes you will commit. ^_^
T. Irene
The standards for good sons and daughters have changed greatly with the times. 
>>> The standards for children as good sons and daughters have changed greatly with the times. 
It can be divided into pre-Joseon, Joseon, and modern times. 
>>> These changes occurred in three periods of time: pre-Joseon, Joseon, and modern times. 
Before the Joseon Dynasty, It was a country with Buddhist ideas, so It had a relatively horizontal atmosphere compared to Joseon.
>>>  Before the Joseon Dynasty, our country was influenced by Buddhist ideas. So we had a relatively calm atmosphere compared to Joseon.
However, the Joseon Dynasty was not the case because it was an era dominated by Confucianism. 
>>> However, it was not the case in the Joseon Dynasty. It was an era dominated by Confucianism. 
The son had to be loyal to his parents, and became a successful person if he passed the past examination.
>>>  The son had to be loyal to his parents, and became a successful person so he needs to pass the past examination.
The daughter had to be loyal to the man. 
>>> On the other hand, the daughter had to be loyal to her husband.
In fact, even in modern Korea, this aspect has not disappeared. 
>>> Correct. 
Gender conflicts due to gender differences are continuing, and only universities are the best goals in adolescence. 
>>> Gender conflicts due to gender differences are still present, and attending universities is the goal of young people. 
Even though the goal does not have to be unconditionally a university.
>>> Though, the goal need not have to be purely a university.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123549 What music genre would you never listen to? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-13 1
123548 Use the following words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-13 1918
123547 Except for food, do humans need other animals? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-12 2193
123546 Why do some people avoid challenges? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-12 3
123545 If I have friends who didn¡¯t like each other, I will¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1741
123544 What do you think about quitting? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1
123543 What book would you recommend to a friend? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2730
123542 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 0
123541 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1874
123540 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2938
123539 The planning ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1
123538 What would you do if you had friends who didn\'t like each... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2342
123537 What is the best way to handle a busy schedule? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2049
123536 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2588
123535 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2065
123534 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2174
123533 Is cloning good or bad? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2045
123532 What new innovations have you noticed nowadays? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2232
123531 How do you think marriage changes people? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 1
123530 Do you like to try new restaurants, or do you prefer to go to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-11 2198

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04