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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Make a story about two best friends who became the most popular inventors. (Best friend -> Twins)

작성자: 김*율
2022-11-29 2013

회원님의 영작문

Two girls, Melanie and Madeline were twins. And they especially loved art+science. And today, the very day, was Art+Science day! Melanie's head was full of crazy science experiments, and Madeline's head was full of crazy arts and projects. Those two twins and their bright ideas complimented each other well. Last year, they wrote a very convincing bill about making a day celebrating with experiments and arts. The president laughed for hours after he knew those two mischievous girls had written the bill. so he immedietly made Art+Science Day. The twin's Gift-Making was an annual event for the twins first made a handmade biscuit called Fizzy Fruit Biscuits. Melanie made the fizzing biscuits by putting more baking soda and putting lemon candys in the biscuit. Then, Madeline drew daisies and ladybugs on them with food coloring. They made soda-milk too. Even after they grew up children visited them for tasty gifts. So, the cheerful Melanie and funny Madeline became famous treat inventors! ^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Heather, good day to you! Thank you for making a nice story about the two inventors. We will talk more about this in class. I'll see you then.~ T. Lyn
Two girls, Melanie and Madeline were twins. 
>>Correct.
And they especially loved art+science. 
>>Correct.
And today, the very day, was Art+Science day! 
>>And that very day was Art + Science day!
Melanie's head was full of crazy science experiments, and Madeline's head was full of crazy arts and projects. 
>>Melanie's head was full of crazy science ideas and experiments and Madeline's head was full of crazy art and projects.
Those two twins and their bright ideas complimented each other well. 
>>The two twins and their brilliant ideas complemented each other so well.
Last year, they wrote a very convincing bill about making a day celebrating with experiments and arts. 
>>Last year, they wrote a very compelling piece of legislation about experimenting and creating a day of celebration with art.
The president laughed for hours after he knew those two mischievous girls had written the bill. 
>>The President laughed for a few hours when he realized that those two mischievous girls had written the bill.
so he immedietly made Art+Science Day. 
>>So, the President immeidately created Art + Science Day!
The twin's Gift-Making was an annual event for the twins first made a handmade biscuit called Fizzy Fruit Biscuits. 
>>The twin's Gift-Making was an annual event where the twins first made homemade biscuits called Fizzy Fruit Bisuits.
Melanie made the fizzing biscuits by putting more baking soda and putting lemon candys in the biscuit.
>>Melanie made the biscuits by adding more baking soda and adding lemon candy to the biscuits
Then, Madeline drew daisies and ladybugs on them with food coloring. 
>>Then, Madelina painted daisies and ladybugs with food coloring over them.
They made soda-milk too. 
>>They also made soda milk. 
Even after they grew up children visited them for tasty gifts. 
>>Even as adults, children still come for delicious gifts.
So, the cheerful Melanie and funny Madeline became famous treat inventors! 
>>So, cheerful Melanie and hilarious Madeline become famous confectionery inventors!
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