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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can you help reduce air, water, and land pollution starting at home and in your neighborhood?

작성자: 김*경
2022-12-07 1381

회원님의 영작문

Above all, we can turn our oil-powered vehicles into EV which will contribute to our efforts of reducing air pollution. Aside from it, we can preserve water and land through recycling and reusing movement. There’re some examples that we put our thoughts into practice as follows. First, we can reduce the number of disposable cups used by using our cups. Many cafes sell coffee or beverages in customers’ cups that they carry. Second, we can preserve our earth by saving energy that is being produced by fossil fuel-powered plants. Third, we can encourage companies to produce their products more eco-friendly by selectively buying eco-friendly products.

Our government needs to increase education on the environment and its preservation. Effective, sustainable protection of our planet can be kicked off by our voluntary action from the heart. Students need to know how seriously our environments are being damaged, and how important it is for us to take an action before it’s too late.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Steve! Thank you for taking the time to do this homework, and it turned out very well. I am very happy that you were able to explain about the things that the people and the government need to do in order for pollution to be reduce if not eradicated. Thank you for making 2 impressive paragraphs that convey a lot of good information and vocabulary that show your prowess in English. I do have some suggestions and alternative sentences here. Please review them carefully and take notes. Once again, thank you very much and have a great day ahead!

- Teacher Raven 

Above all, we can turn our oil-powered vehicles into EV which will contribute to our efforts of reducing air pollution.
>> Correct. OR Above all else, we can switch our oil-powered vehicles into electric vehicles which will contribute to our efforts of reducing air pollution.
Aside from it, we can preserve water and land through recycling and reusing movement.
>> Aside from that, we can preserve water and land through the 3R movement; reduce, reuse, and recycle.
There’re some examples that we put our thoughts into practice as follows.
>> Correct. 
First, we can reduce the number of disposable cups used by using our cups.
>> First, we can reduce the usage of disposable cups by using our own cups or tumblers.
Many cafes sell coffee or beverages in customers’ cups that they carry.
>> Correct. OR Many cafes sell coffee or beverages in the cups that their customers carry.
Second, we can preserve our earth by saving energy that is being produced by fossil fuel-powered plants.
>> Correct.
Third, we can encourage companies to produce their products more eco-friendly by selectively buying eco-friendly products.
>> Correct.
Our government needs to increase education on the environment and its preservation.
>> Correct.
Effective, sustainable protection of our planet can be kicked off by our voluntary action from the heart.
>> Correct. OR Most importantly, sustainable protection of our planet can be kicked off by our voluntary action from the heart.
Students need to know how seriously our environments are being damaged, and how important it is for us to take an action before it’s too late.
>> Students need to know how seriously our environment is being damaged, and how important it is for us to take action before it’s too late.

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