¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-12-12 1119

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
It¡¯s Sunday night.
Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
They also have aplayground with many water slides.
In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
We spent around three hours in the beach.
For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
I think he was not a social man.
However, I have no choice.
See you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

I think this hotel that you are in right now is top class! As it is a Disney Hotel, the amenities are well-maintained and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Your daughters seems to the best time ever.  I am sure, there are more thing to see and discover in this place. I heard from your wife that you went snorkeling today. How was it? Did your daughters snorkel too? Tell me about it.

Anyway, since you are a few days away going back to Korea, pray that Dr. MJ did a good job in managing the staff in your clinic. Maybe, it's not going to be perfect but at least, you had your vacation to charge up your working mood. Perhaps, you can go back to your good memories of Hawaii when problems arise again in your office.

I'm not keeping you long to read my suggestions. The grammar points were either underlined or deleted. Kindly read them below.

Then, have a wonderful under the sun today!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It¡¯s Sunday night.
>> Correct!

Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
>> Now we have only two other nights in Hawaii.

As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
>> Correct!

This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: This hotel has a special concept; Disney characters like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and so on.

After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
>> Correct!

They also have aplayground with many water slides.
>> Correct!
Or: They also have a playground with many water slides.

In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
>> Correct!
Or: In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could play with the sand.

My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
>>  My daughters and I made a big sand castle that blocked the sea water.

We spent around three hours in the beach.
>> Correct!

For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
>> Correct!

Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
>> Correct!
Or: Because I want beer and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beer.
 
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
>> After a long time, I contacted Dr. MJ, and he said, ¡°There are many serious problems in the clinic lately, but, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±

Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
>> Correct!

I think he was not a social man.
>> Correct!

However, I have no choice.
>> Correct!

See you
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122449 9/19 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2613
122448 09.19.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2
122447 My favorite teacher (*^_^*) ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2258
122446 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1551
122445 What makes you different from everyone else? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2711
122444 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1752
122443 Oh no .. I knew this was today\'s hw page.. (Sep 19) ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 6
122442 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 0
122441 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2
122440 What is the best way to make new friends? Do you like making new... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2137
122439 How do you feel after a long vacation. ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2301
122438 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1693
122437 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 0
122436 When you travel, would you rather go to a place where there are... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1892
122435 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1624
122434 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1
122433 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 2748
122432 Preparation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1
122431 Have you ever injured yourself while working out? What happened? ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1648
122430 During workdays, where do you have lunch and who do you usually... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-19 1962

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04