¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-12-12 876

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
It¡¯s Sunday night.
Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
They also have aplayground with many water slides.
In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
We spent around three hours in the beach.
For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
I think he was not a social man.
However, I have no choice.
See you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

I think this hotel that you are in right now is top class! As it is a Disney Hotel, the amenities are well-maintained and your satisfaction is guaranteed. Your daughters seems to the best time ever.  I am sure, there are more thing to see and discover in this place. I heard from your wife that you went snorkeling today. How was it? Did your daughters snorkel too? Tell me about it.

Anyway, since you are a few days away going back to Korea, pray that Dr. MJ did a good job in managing the staff in your clinic. Maybe, it's not going to be perfect but at least, you had your vacation to charge up your working mood. Perhaps, you can go back to your good memories of Hawaii when problems arise again in your office.

I'm not keeping you long to read my suggestions. The grammar points were either underlined or deleted. Kindly read them below.

Then, have a wonderful under the sun today!

See you soon!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

It¡¯s Sunday night.
>> Correct!

Now we have only two other night in Hawaii.
>> Now we have only two other nights in Hawaii.

As you know, we moved to another hotel named Disney resort.
>> Correct!

This hotel has a special concept;Disney characters like Miki mouse, Donald duck, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: This hotel has a special concept; Disney characters like Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and so on.

After we arrived, we enjoyed playing in the pool that has a water road.
>> Correct!

They also have aplayground with many water slides.
>> Correct!
Or: They also have a playground with many water slides.

In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could do a sand play.
>> Correct!
Or: In addition, there was a beautiful beach nearby, so we could play with the sand.

My daughters and I made a big sand castle that block the sea water.
>>  My daughters and I made a big sand castle that blocked the sea water.

We spent around three hours in the beach.
>> Correct!

For our dinner, we ate some cup noodles that my wife packed in Korea.
>> Correct!

Because I want beers and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beers.
>> Correct!
Or: Because I want beer and more food, my wife and I went to the ABC store nearby, and we bought many snacks and beer.
 
After a long time, I contacted with Dr. MJ, and he said ¡°there are many serious problems in the clinic lately. But, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±
>> After a long time, I contacted Dr. MJ, and he said, ¡°There are many serious problems in the clinic lately, but, I hope you to enjoy the vacation.¡±

Since I heard of it, I felt so bad.
>> Correct!

I think he was not a social man.
>> Correct!

However, I have no choice.
>> Correct!

See you
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124474 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 4
124473 12/28 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-29 851
124472 I need your explanation ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1283
124471 What are the negative impacts of playing computer games? What... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1798
124470 What can you bring to our company? ¾È*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 713
124469 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 906
124468 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 853
124467 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1586
124466 Is fishing an important industry in your country? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1263
124465 Organized ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1
124464 Fishing is important industry. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1283
124463 request my teacher about study method of english speaking. Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1023
124462 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 2
124461 Do you like family reunions? Why or why not? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 907
124460 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1262
124459 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1186
124458 Are you into organic foods? Is that a strict or casual organic... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1030
124457 Have you ever volunteered to help victims of natural disasters?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1173
124456 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 3
124455 What is your best personality trait? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-28 1604

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04