¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who do you think is better at saving money, boys or girls?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2022-12-21 2294

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think girls will normally be good at saving money because generally, girls are better at managing something than boys. For example, girls normally like taking notes for their lessons and I think taking notes or a passbook will be helpful when they are managing their own finances. Also, moms usually manage family's finances, and girls are also female as moms, which means they can be better at taking care of their money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Chloe!

I appreciate your sending it. See you tomorrow!

Cheers,
Jean~~


Who do you think is better at saving money, boys or girls?
I think girls will normally be good at saving money because generally, girls are better at managing something than boys. 
>> or: If you ask me, girls are known to be better at managing things so I'd say they are also ahead of boys when it comes to saving money. 

For example, girls normally like taking notes for their lessons and I think taking notes or a passbook will be helpful when they are managing their own finances.
>> or: For instance, females are more inclined to take notes in class; what's more, I believe notes or passbooks will be helpful when handling their own financial affairs. 

Also, moms usually manage family's finances, and girls are also female as moms, which means they can be better at taking care of their money.
>> or: Not to mention, moms typically serve as home managers, and girls being females just like moms are, it's safe to assume that they are superior to men in terms of money matters. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125645 Do you think going to less popular places is better than popular... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1416
125644 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1313
125643 Make or compose three to five (3-5) sentences using the verb... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2181
125642 Hard at first time, but it¡¯s just a piece of cake! ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125641 Imagine graduating from high school. Write about your last year... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125640 homework 02.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1201
125639 What would be your perfect Valentine\'s day? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 966
125638 What would the world be lije without the internet Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1042
125637 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1060
125636 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125635 Homework from the Feedback (12) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1670
125634 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125633 What is on your bucket list? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1706
125632 Apology ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125631 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1736
125630 Sorry, teacher~ ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 0
125629 Being a photographer¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1201
125628 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125627 In your opinion, do miracles still happen? Why or why not? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1502
125626 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1740

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04