¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is Christmas too commercial nowadays? How should a very traditional Christmas be spent?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-12-27 1642

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Christmas season is sure to be a good chance for lagging commerce to bound up again. However, We shouldn¡¯t forget the original meaning of Christmas. I don¡¯t blame how commercial Christmas comes to be nowadays. But I want to say what is inside that counts. In short, we need to celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the true happiness of Christmas, that is, we can be drawn closer to God thanks to Jesus¡¯s sacrifice. Anyway, Christmas day is a blessed day. So Let us not only enjoy it ourselves but also share the happiness of the day with as many people as possible so that Christmas can be full of joy and happiness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


The Christmas season is sure to be a good chance for lagging commerce to bound up again. 
>>> CORRECT!

However, We shouldn¡¯t forget the original meaning of Christmas. 
>>> CORRECT!

I don¡¯t blame how commercial Christmas comes to be nowadays. 
>>> CORRECT!

But I want to say what is inside that counts.
>>> CORRECT!

In short, we need to celebrate Christmas, reminding us of the true happiness of Christmas, that is, we can be drawn closer to God thanks to Jesus¡¯s sacrifice. 
>>> CORRECT!

Anyway, Christmas day is a blessed day. 
>>> CORRECT!

So Let us not only enjoy it ourselves but also share the happiness of the day with as many people as possible so that Christmas can be full of joy and happiness.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123878 Homework (11/23) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123877 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2135
123876 check on ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123875 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1975
123874 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2515
123873 Would you like to attend a World Cup in the future? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1953
123872 Which country, city, or town have you always wanted to travel... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2067
123871 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123870 HOMEWORK: What extreme sports do you know? Why do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 3
123869 Homework (11/29) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 5
123868 I love the local food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1756
123867 HOMEWORK: What is the most interesting thing about learning... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123866 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 0
123865 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1582
123864 What is your busiest day of the week? Why is it the busiest day? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1952
123863 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123862 What do you think about genetically modified food? Do you think... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2075
123861 What can you say about media bias? Does it exist in your... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2222
123860 Many children rebel through clothes, music, and extreme... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2106
123859 free ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1661

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04