¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

\"Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2022-12-27 1114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort. I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your second edited composition this week, Chloe!
As always, please check the corrections and alternative sentences. 

Cheers,
Jean~~


                "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort."

I suppose it means happiness is not only from money. 
>> OR: To my mind, it can be interpreted money is not the only source of happiness. 

The quote says happiness is from not only money but also the joy of achievement, and the thrill of creative effort.
>> OR: The line from the quote states that happiness does not only come from money but also the pleasure arising from one's personal achievement. 

 I think Franklin D. Roosevelt wanted to say to people that they don't have to find their happiness in their money and they can find their own happiness in small things like the thrill of creative effort or the joy of achievement.
>> OR: I guess FDR wanted to express to people that money is not equivalent to happiness, instead, they can do the things they love and pursue the greatness that they believe they are capable of and get some happiness from their success. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124122 The World Cup Final is always among the most watched television... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1783
124121 Do you like Christmas decorations? How do you feel about the... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1108
124120 If I can change¡¦ ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1362
124119 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1993
124118 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 884
124117 Homework (12/12) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1
124116 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 0
124115 In my country¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 2489
124114 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 0
124113 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 2340
124112 I think it depends on the decision of the person facing the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 2664
124111 what kind of car would you get? A luxurious car? A sports car? A... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 2397
124110 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1
124109 ¿µ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1896
124108 Do you agree that casual clothes can help students express... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1773
124107 Homework 12/12 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 6
124106 When do you take the bus? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 0
124105 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-12 1481
124104 Should people switch to being vegetarian? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 2076
124103 Is it necessary to study about the space? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-11 1365

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04