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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

12/28 homework

작성자: 윤*현
2022-12-29 892

회원님의 영작문

People who don`t want to get married have been increasing in South Korea.
As the average age of marriage is becoming higher every year, the number of bachelors are increasing.
The period of education is getting longer, so lots of young people achieve their economical independece late in their lifetime.
That`s why their marriage are delayed.
Many young people enjoy their free time focusing on their hobbies and interests.
They think marriage and growing a baby are tied them up.
There is another realistic problem.
Generally, people think that if they are being married, they have to get a baby.
However, it is burdensome to grow a baby until he/she become an adult.
So, some people give up getting married with their lovers.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon, Dr. Stella!

As the satistics about single people get steady for the past few years, the aging population of Korea will be vast after 20 years. As a result, the younger generation will take care of the older generation instead of taking care babies of their own. Well, is there any way we can have this case reversed? If the cost of having a baby becomes affordable as well as the price of babysitting, then, maybe many single people can be motivated to get married and eventually have a baby. Nevertheless, as one belonging to this age category, the choice is yours.

Well, my grammar suggestion below contains some subject-verb agreement. Always make sure to use single verb form (-s form) when you have singular noun.  Moreover, diction (correct choice of words) matters. Hence, read sentence #7. Overall, excellent job on your homework!

See you in class soon!

-T. Donna~

People who don`t want to get married have been increasing in South Korea.
>> Correct!

As the average age of marriage is becoming higher every year, the number of bachelors are increasing.
>> Correct!

The period of education is getting longer, so lots of young people achieve their economical independece late in their lifetime.
>> Correct!
Or: independence

That`s why their marriage are delayed.
>> Correct!
Or: That's why their marriage gets delayed.

Many young people enjoy their free time focusing on their hobbies and interests.
>> Correct!

They think marriage and growing a baby are tied them up.
>> They think that marriage and growing a baby tie them up.

There is another realistic problem.
>> Correct!

Generally, people think that if they are being married, they have to get a baby.
>> Generally, people think that if they are being married, they need to have a baby.

However, it is burdensome to grow a baby until he/she become an adult.
>> However, it is burdensome to grow a baby until he/she becomes an adult.

So, some people give up getting married with their lovers.
>> Correct!
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