¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What did you do with your first salary? What were the things you bought? Did you give it to someone?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-12-30 981

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, as I remember it, the things that I received a first salary to change my smart phone and electronic device like an wireless earphones and laptop. Also, I didn't give my money to my parents before I got a salary. But sometimes, I used to do it. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Nice work, Elic! Thank you for your efforts in this homework. First of all, I just want to greet you a happy new year! You have been so amazing this year! Pat yourself on the back because you've made it and you worked hard in 2022. Please review the corrections I have placed here. All are very simple corrections, just some alternative sentences which makes the sentences have complete thoughts. Thank you once again for your efforts in making your homework every day! Keep it up!

- Teacher Raven 

Well, as I remember it, the things that I received a first salary to change my smart phone and electronic device like an wireless earphones and laptop.
>> Well, if I remember correctly, I bought a new smart phone and some electronic devices like wireless earphones and a laptop with my first salary.
Also, I didn't give my money to my parents before I got a salary.
>> Also, I didn't give some of my salary to my parents.
But sometimes, I used to do it.
>> But I do it sometimes.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124058 Homework (12/08) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 6
124057 i like meet many people. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124056 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 0
124055 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2206
124054 clean ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124053 How often do you take a taxi? What type of transportation do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1715
124052 Do you enjoy learning how to use new technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2810
124051 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1
124050 Complete each phrase below by using one of the prepositions from... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2203
124049 4 sentences ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124048 The importance of asking polite ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1779
124047 abduction ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1777
124046 it\'s only natural that an excellent coach from another country... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1752
124045 The friends for teenagers ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1
124044 Where is the best place to eat in your town? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 2
124043 12/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-08 1619
124042 How do you behave when you or your team loses? Are you a sore... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1862
124041 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1907
124040 What I am most like to change about where I live ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 2113
124039 HOMEWORK: Make a sentence for each of the words: 1. slim 2.... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-07 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04