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Worst vacation ever!

작성자: 김*율
2023-01-02 1777

회원님의 영작문

Hi! I am Annabelle. Today was the worst winter vacation eve ever! I was happy to injoy the party and soak everything in, but Rosamund, the head girl of the bully Goth gang, flobbed on my head most of the time I was desperately escape-running. She made me late for the Boy 'n Girl vacation dance party. (Growl) I wanted to dance with cute and kind Stephen, but Rosamund got him! Still thank goodness I saw him make an "Ick!" face to Rosamund and grinning to me. Ha! The second activity was Free Sport, and I was trilled to do my favorite sport, moon walking with a partner across the icerink. This time I managed to save Stephen, but the Goth gang whizzed over and almost chopped our hair bald! They missed because we were fallen over. In lunch time, I wanted to buy a pizza, but it sold out because of pig Rosamund. and Rosapig butted me out of my seat that was next to Stephen! I had to eatmy paperbag lunch on the floor. I wish for just one luck and it was merely Stephen winking at me, beaming. ㅠㅠ

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Heater! Annabelle has a worst vacation but I hop you are enjoying your winter vacation. You vacation well with your family and find time to be with your friends. Have fun and happy new year!~ T. Lyn
Hi! I am Annabelle. 
>>Correct.
Today was the worst winter vacation eve ever! 
>>Correct.
I was happy to injoy the party and soak everything in, but Rosamund, the head girl of the bully Goth gang, flobbed on my head most of the time I was desperately escape-running. 
>>I was happy to party and soal it all up, but Rosamund, the head of the bullying goth gang, lay on my head most of the time as I desperately escaped.
She made me late for the Boy 'n Girl vacation dance party. 
>>Correct.
(Growl) I wanted to dance with cute and kind Stephen, but Rosamund got him! 
>>Correct.
Still thank goodness I saw him make an "Ick!" face to Rosamund and grinning to me.
>>Still, I am thankful to see him as he said "Ick!" then faces to Rosamund and smiles at me.
Ha! The second activity was Free Sport, and I was trilled to do my favorite sport, moon walking with a partner across the icerink. 
>>Ha! The second activity was Free Sport, and I was thrilled todo the moon walk across the ice rink with my partner, my favorite sport.
This time I managed to save Stephen, but the Goth gang whizzed over and almost chopped our hair bald!
>>This time, we were able to save Stephen, but the goth gang buzzed in and almost took our heads off!
They missed because we were fallen over. 
>>They missed because we fell.
In lunch time, I wanted to buy a pizza, but it sold out because of pig Rosamund.and Rosapig butted me out of my seat that was next to Stephen!
>>I wanted to buy pizza at lunchtime but it was sold out because of Rosamund the pig and Rosapig.
I had to eatmy paperbag lunch on the floor. 
>>I had to eat my paper bag lunch on the floor.
I wish for just one luck and it was merely Stephen winking at me, beaming.
>>I only wished one good lucj and it was just Stephen winking at me and smiling brightly.
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