¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-01-05 1419

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, there!
I must say "Today is money's day."
At lunch time, I had a meeting with a bank man, a judicial scrivener (I googled this word), and a building staff.
I had to pay the rest of the money for the building.
Instead of me, KB bank paid most of the money.
After that, I paid a large amount of money for tax.
This afternoon, interior team asked the middle money to me, so I sent lots of money to their account.
Did I tell you?
I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money of new house.
Money, money, and money...
Someone says, "Money is not important at all."
However, we really need a money to do anything.
As you know, I am a kind of slave of the money lately.
That's why I don't think that I achieve the success.
To make myself to feel free from the pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.
If I overcome this situation, I will be succeed, I think.
What about you?
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

Well, what can I say? Money really makes the world go round. Without it, people will never work hard. It is the grea motivator that fuels people to keep pushing. On the contrary, the lack of it destroys relationship, creates mistrust, and even result to death for some due to greed. Who ever said that money is not important better gives his/her money to us! However, it should not be all that we live for. We have to remember that family and ourselves matter more in earning money. I am sure that your life will be prosperous and money will not be a problem for a smart, hardworking, and patient doctor like you.

Then, keep very good professional communication to your patients as well as your colleagues to keep the inflow of money in your clinic. Remember, money chases the people who are happy and grateful for what they do and what they have. Most of all, pray that God sends you many ways to build your capabilities to multiply money such as the parable of the fish- five fish to thousands.

The grammar suggestions I made are correct capitalization, diction (correct choice of words), prepositions, among others. Please go over them well. Excellent composition!

See you later then.

-T. Donna~

Hi, there!
>> Correct!

I must say "Today is money's day."
>> Correct!

At lunch time, I had a meeting with a bank man, a judicial scrivener (I googled this word), and a building staff.
>> Correct!
Or: Googled

I had to pay the rest of the money for the building.
>> Correct!

Instead of me, KB bank paid most of the money.
>> Correct!

After that, I paid a large amount of money for tax.
>> Correct!

This afternoon, interior team asked the middle money to me, so I sent lots of money to their account.
>> This afternoon, th interior team asked the midterm money payment from me, so I sent lots of money to their account.

Did I tell you?
>> Correct!

I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money of new house.
>> I have to move our home soon, so I need more money for the rest of the money for the  new house.

Money, money, and money...
>> Correct!

Someone says, "Money is not important at all."
>> Correct!

However, we really need a money to do anything.
>> However, we really need money to do everything.

As you know, I am a kind of slave of the money lately.
>> As you know, I am a kind of slave of money lately.

That's why I don't think that I achieve the success.
>>  That's why I don't think that I achieved success.

To make myself to feel free from the pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.
>> To make myself to feel free from pressure, I have to make more money this year, and then pay the interests to many banks smoothly.

If I overcome this situation, I will be succeed, I think.
>> If I overcome this situation, I will succeed, I think.

What about you?
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123690 What kind of radio programs do you prefer to listen to? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 1
123689 What are the advantages of traveling by airplane? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 2
123688 How is attraction different than love? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 1
123687 bucket list ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 0
123686 What kind of work do you want to get from the government when... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 2108
123685 What does \"don\'t judge a book by its cover\" mean? Do you... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 2579
123684 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 2303
123683 If you were to build your own cafe, what kind of concept do you... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-20 2
123682 Who is the greatest woman you know? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1875
123681 In your opinion, why do people tell lies? How about you? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2545
123680 Why do you think work-life balance is important? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2204
123679 born ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 1
123678 Use the following words in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2498
123677 What is the dirtiest job you could think of? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2710
123676 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2195
123675 What are the advantages and disadvantages of taking exams? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 12
123674 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using the internet? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 7
123673 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2860
123672 My parents and me ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2608
123671 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04