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What was the first big purchase you made as an adult?

작성자: 김*경
2023-01-06 1105

회원님의 영작문

Before answering the question, I’d like to define being an adult in Korea. Various replies could be possible, however, I think marriage is one of the meaningful and important criteria for becoming an adult. So I’ll tell you about my first big purchase as an adult.

Months before my wedding, I spent hectic days preparing the place to live with my wife and the vehicle that we travel together on weekends with. With my savings and financial support from my parents and loans from a bank, I barely bought a small house and a small car before my wedding. It was my first time spending over 0.1 million dollars within a short period. But, I didn't feel the burden about it because the joy to kick off a new life with a loved one was more than anything else.

Anyway, I don't know if it's because of that, I have been able to invest in expensive properties without hesitation since then. I have been to make profits accordingly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yeong Kyeong! I hope you're doing ok right now. Thank you for participating actively in my class today. You did well! You were able to converse with me with minimal corrections. Keep up the good work! ^^ Each day comes with the opportunity to be the best in your area of strength. If you can think it, you can achieve it! :) 

Before answering the question, I’d like to define being an adult in Korea.
>> Before answering the question, I'd like to define what is like being an adult in Korea.
I think marriage is one of the meaningful and important criteria for becoming an adult.
>> I think marriage is one of the meaningful and important criteria in becoming an adult.
I spent hectic days preparing the place to live with my wife and the vehicle that we travel together on weekends with.
>> I spent hectic days preparing the place to live with my wife and the vehicle that we will use to travel together during weekends.
It was my first time spending over 0.1 million dollars within a short period. 
>> It was my first time spending over 1 million dollars within a short period of time.
I have been to make profits accordingly.
>> I have been able to make profits accordingly.
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