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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-01-06 1233

회원님의 영작문

Happy Friday!
I wonder what you are doing now.
I think you are so diligent, but you have an irregular pattern of life.
One day, you emcee in wedding, another day, you travel somewhere.
As I expected, you make lots of money in your country.
Congratulation for your own house.
This morning, Dr. MJ and I discussed about my financial problem, and then we planned to prepare money for interior, salary, tax, and so on.
It's hard to solve this problem.
However, I will get over this situation.
At lunch time, I taught some of my staff with a book.
Until now, I am not sure this education will work efficiently, but at least they are very satisfied with that.
Although most staff didn't go to college, some of them have a strong desire to learn something, and they have a potential to become a leader in each team, I think.
In Korea, many people think that rich man means who has more than 10 billion Doller, and I also agree with that.
I will take a rest this weekend, excepting work time.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

As I check this composition, I am on board on the radio. So, that is what I do apparently. Like you, no diligence means no success to me. Even if my life is full of irregularities, I have constant things like Power English, my family, and some solid friends over the years who always understand that my life is very irregular. They love me for this. This always keeps my life in balance. By the way, I don't make a lot of money, just enough. ^^

Discussing money matters really matter in terms of business. Projections, accounting, some contingencies, as well as a back up plan (when bankruptcy is about to hit you) need to be properly addressed. There is no letting down. You have to each other close through thick and thin with Dr. MJ like real brothers. Hence, you have to share the burden in finances. In the same way, you always celebrate victories together.

In your clinic, the effect of your lessons may not be instant and may take some time but I think that your staff knows that you mean these lessons well for their development. Keep teaching and mastering as well the lessons you preach. Think that this is your service and voluntary work to make your staff better employees and improving their characters as representatives of your clinic brand.

Please take some very good rest on the weekend. Sometimes, we can get workaholic but even Elon Musk. Bill Gates, President Yoon, etc. take some time out when needed. 

Then, look closely to the suggestions I have for your homework below. They are simple yet, almost forgotten by many students such as placing the correct comma, the use of 'the', and the use of correct prepositions. 

Therefore, have a blast with your beautiful ladies this weekend! See you on Monday!

-T. Donna~

Happy Friday!
>> Correct!

I wonder what you are doing now.
>> Correct!

I think you are so diligent, but you have an irregular pattern of life.
>> Correct!

One day, you emcee in wedding, another day, you travel somewhere.
>> One day, you emcee in a wedding, another day, you travel somewhere.

As I expected, you make lots of money in your country.
>> Correct!

Congratulation for your own house.
>> Correct!

This morning, Dr. MJ and I discussed about my financial problem, and then we planned to prepare money for interior, salary, tax, and so on.
>> This morning, Dr. MJ and I discussed about my financial problem, and then, we planned to prepare money for the interior, salary, tax, and so on.

It's hard to solve this problem.
>> Correct!

However, I will get over this situation.
>> Correct!

At lunch time, I taught some of my staff with a book.
>> Correct!

Until now, I am not sure this education will work efficiently, but at least they are very satisfied with that.
>> Until now, I am not sure if this education will work efficiently, but at least, they are very satisfied with that.

Although most staff didn't go to college, some of them have a strong desire to learn something, and they have a potential to become a leader in each team, I think.
>> Correct! Excellent sentence!

In Korea, many people think that rich man means who has more than 10 billion Doller, and I also agree with that.
>> In Korea, many people think that a rich man means someone who has more than 10 billion dollars and I also agree with that.

I will take a rest this weekend, excepting work time.
>> I will take a rest this weekend, except work time.

See you.
>> Correct!
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