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Can you think of some dangerous chores that you can\'t do?

작성자: 양*은
2023-01-08 1040

회원님의 영작문

What I came up with was window sweeping.
I can't do this and it is also dangerous.
Someday, there was a accident that a window sweeper was droped into the ground from high apartment in my hometown.
He was dead and it was broadcast on the news.
One man who has a mental illness cut the ropes and he was arrested.
The reason he did was that the music a sweeper turned was noisy.
It makes the safety rules be strengthened. I feel still sad that a sweeper just got married and has a son.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Monday, Ian!
I agree with you. This can be considered a house chore because there are people doing it on their own rather than hiring from a cleaning company. I often see window cleaners in big companies and tall buildings and their job definitely looks dangerous.
-T. Caitlyn
What I came up with was window sweeping.
>> What I can think of is window cleaning.
I can't do this and it is also dangerous.
>> CORRECT
Someday, there was a accident that a window sweeper was droped into the ground from high apartment in my hometown.
>> Once, there was an accident where the window cleaner fell to the ground from a high apartment in my hometown.
He was dead and it was broadcast on the news.
>> He died and it was broadcasted on the news.
One man who has a mental illness cut the ropes and he was arrested.
>> A man who has a mental illness was arrested for cutting the ropes.
The reason he did was that the music a sweeper turned was noisy.
>> The reason he did it is that the sound of the window wiper was noisy.
It makes the safety rules be strengthened. 
>> It made them strengthen their safety rules.
I feel still sad that a sweeper just got married and has a son.
>> I still feel sad for that window cleaner because he just got married and has a son.
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