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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

How do you feel about South Korea becoming a super-aged society by 2025?

작성자: 황*하
2023-01-12 1307

회원님의 영작문

It is not a problem in the future. It has became a serious problem in Korea. As a generation X which was born in 1979, we are between baby boomers and generation MZ. It means that we need to support elderly with our taxes and also have to pay it for our children. It can be a burden for us, especially, in the economic crisis these days. Many people have been suffering from the recession due to Covid-19. Our government gave people too much emergency support funds and most countries spreaded money at the market, as a result, the value of money has reduced that might result in economic recession. We know that it is the basic element to have enough budget from the taxes, if we want to be a welfare country. In northern Europe, they pay more than 30% taxes of their income, so it is possible to use it for poor people and people who need help. However, it is really sensitive issue to collect taxes from the citizens, although, it is not a big amount. People always try to reduce their tax

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is not a problem in the future. 
>> CORRECT! 
It has became a serious problem in Korea. 
>> It has become a serious problem in Korea. 
As a generation X which was born in 1979, we are between baby boomers and generation MZ. 
>> CORRECT! 
It means that we need to support elderly with our taxes and also have to pay it for our children. 
>> CORRECT! 
It can be a burden for us, especially, in the economic crisis these days. 
>> CORRECT! 
Many people have been suffering from the recession due to Covid-19. 
>> CORRECT! 
Our government gave people too much emergency support funds and most countries spreaded money at the market, as a result, the value of money has reduced that might result in economic recession. 
>> Our government gave people too much emergency support funds and most countries spread money at the market; as a result, the value of money has reduced that might result in economic recession. 
We know that it is the basic element to have enough budget from the taxes, if we want to be a welfare country. 
>> CORRECT! 
In northern Europe, they pay more than 30% taxes of their income, so it is possible to use it for poor people and people who need help. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, it is really sensitive issue to collect taxes from the citizens, although, it is not a big amount. 
>> However, it is a really sensitive issue to collect taxes from the citizens, although, it is not a big amount. 
People always try to reduce their tax
>>  People always try to reduce their taxes.
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