¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

1/13 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2023-01-15 1337

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have never lived far away from my family.
It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Being a million miles away from our family can be challenging since we can only have ourselves to count on and we have to stay independent. Well, if you will be away from your family, I think you will be just fine because you are a very strong and independent lady.

Kindly go over my suggestions below that include the correct order or words (syntax) as well as placing a pronoun to avoid being redundant in one sentence. Overall, you made an excellent piece of writing, great job!

-T. Donna~

I have never lived far away from my family.

>> Correct!

It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I was just a few times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.

So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
>> So, I haven't experienced  feeling that I couldn`t see my family easily.

Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
>> Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet them anytime I want.

However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
>> Correct!

Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
>> Correct! 
Or: Also, I couldn't help them easily, and on the contrary, they couldn't help me directly.

I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123674 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using the internet? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 7
123673 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-19 2803
123672 My parents and me ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2582
123671 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2
123670 What are some of the most important customs of your country? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2241
123669 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1915
123668 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2988
123667 What are the classic video games that you grew up with? Can you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2577
123666 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123665 The reason that we should choose friends wisely ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123664 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 0
123663 What are three good things about America in your opinion? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2727
123662 What is your opinion about the banning of standing passengers on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2667
123661 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2191
123660 I think the appropriate punishment for cyber-bullying ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2878
123659 Do you think donating blood should be well-paid or always be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2970
123658 What kind of food do you like? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1945
123657 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1
123656 BUS ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 1888
123655 the result should be used so that it is not mistaken for the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-18 2823

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04