¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

1/13 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2023-01-15 1441

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have never lived far away from my family.
It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Stella!

Being a million miles away from our family can be challenging since we can only have ourselves to count on and we have to stay independent. Well, if you will be away from your family, I think you will be just fine because you are a very strong and independent lady.

Kindly go over my suggestions below that include the correct order or words (syntax) as well as placing a pronoun to avoid being redundant in one sentence. Overall, you made an excellent piece of writing, great job!

-T. Donna~

I have never lived far away from my family.

>> Correct!

It's just several times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.
>> Correct!
Or: 
I was just a few times to stay away from my family when I went to travel abroad.

So, I haven't experienced how I feel if I couldn`t see my family easily.
>> So, I haven't experienced  feeling that I couldn`t see my family easily.

Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet my family anytime if I want.
>> Although I don't live with my family now, I always feel comfortable because I can meet them anytime I want.

However, if I live far from my family and I couldn`t meet them conveniently, I feel lonely.
>> Correct!

Also, I couldn't help them easily and on the contrary they couldn't help me directly.
>> Correct! 
Or: Also, I couldn't help them easily, and on the contrary, they couldn't help me directly.

I'm very grateful for I live and work nearby my family's house.
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123021 10/14 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 4399
123020 Would you like to move to a country with a lower cost of living?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2846
123019 Compare the home you lived in before to the one you live in now.... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 13
123018 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 3418
123017 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2880
123016 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2936
123015 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 3235
123014 What is a good sight to see on Jeju Island? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2
123013 Describe your own room in your house. How does it look like?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2
123012 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2724
123011 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2290
123010 Weaknesses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 0
123009 How do you usually feel on your first first day of class? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 3035
123008 10/14 HOMEWORK ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2872
123007 10/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2557
123006 spontaneous ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2267
123005 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2
123004 What does¡°life is what happens to you while you are busy making... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2669
123003 What are some traits of teachers? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2471
123002 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2175

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04